Wednesday, September 28, 2005

My Peeps!

Last night my surgeon had his lap-band support group. Both he and the nutritionist attended which was nice - there were probably 25 people, about 5 pre-op, 2 supportive partners, and the rest were post-op, though all were less than 1 year out. This group, as opposed to the other one I went to, was very supportive and informative. I'll be a regular for sure! There is something really cool about sitting around with a group of people who just get it in a way that you can't unless you too are knee-deep in it ;)

I also connected with my new band-buddy C., she is awesome - we'd been emailing for a while but didn't meet until last night. She's definitely one of my people, so to speak. Cool girl, open, funny and just 4 days ahead of me with her band. It was just great to meet someone that I'd choose as a friend period - band or not - and that we have enough in common to talk about things other than port pain, burping, eating, and emotional food-related stuff (though we talked all about those things, too). We went for coffee after the support group and yapped for 2 hours - that's what happens when you put two extroverts together and add some caffeine. (p.s. for those who know her, C. totally reminds me of Gayle!)

Otherwise, I'm feeling pretty successful these days. I know I'm doing it right, getting exercise and not obsessing. In fact, it dawned on me yesterday that in a way, I've been waiting for the other shoe to drop - that is, for it to feel hard, defeating, painful...for me to feel angry, pissed, exhausted, hopeless and more pissed. BUT, what I realized is that this is the first time in my life that I've attempted a serious weight loss while in a good, healthy headspace. All of the other times I was looking for a general sense of inner peace and happiness by shedding pounds; this time, however, I'm going into with those things already in place. I am smart enough now to know losing weight doesn't solve all of your problems, I promise you that - been there, done that...

So, instead of waiting for it to get hard, and for me to get pissed, I'm operating from a perspective that it's not going to happen that way. I won't let it. This is it. How it is now. It's doable. It's good. There will be hard moments, even days and maybe weeks...but I'm refusing to resent it, hate it, be angry about it or anything else along those lines. Those things don't really help, now do they?

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