Monday, May 21, 2007

She's Come Unfilled....

So much to report, so much space on the internet. Well that works out now doesn't it...

I don't know where to start but I will update you first on lap-band related stuff. A couple weeks ago, I gained like 4 pounds outta no where. It was weird, and concerning. Then I noticed I was PB'ing a lot. A lot. The kicker was the night that I was literally up all night with burning reflux.

Yeah, you heard me. Reflux.

Bandsters know that the lapband instantly cures reflux - so now, reflux = early slippage sign. Coupled with PB's and weight gain, I called my surgeon and went in for an unfill. My fluid was right at 2.0 cc's - and I hadn't had a fill since last summer! I guess I'm not much prone to I asked, "how much will you be putting back in?" And the nurse explained that nowadays, they leave you unfilled for 2 weeks.

So what else could I do but have a full-on panic attack and burst into tears? Fully convinced for 2-3 minutes that I'd surely explode and blow up to 262 before walking out of the office....I eventually collected myself. I agreed, fine, whatev'...I mean, she has the needle. And I can't exactly refill myself.

Next up I had to meet with Dr. Billing, my surgeon, who uttered these unexpected words, "Jenn, you're going to Europe in 3 weeks - just stay unfilled until after your trip. Eat some bread in France." Panic attack, take 2. "That's like almost 6 weeks! I'll surely blow up like a balloon." He assured me that it's ok to be unfilled for a few weeks, and that I was a good lil' patient who would likely not gain much more than 5 - 10 pounds.

FIVE TO TEN POUNDS?!?!?!?! Ok, WLS folks, you get the panic attack #3 that ensued.

But, after lots of thought, careful consideration and well, rolling the proverbial dice...I have decided to do just that: I will be unfilled a total of about 6 weeks when they fill'er back up on June 21st. And, indeed, I'll experience Europe puke-free this time. Jill & I leave on Friday! Edinburgh, Amsterdam, London & Paris (for my birthday!!)...

So how has it been? I won't lie to you:
- It sucks.
- I miss my band.
- I am indeed WAY more hungry without it.
- I am definitely eating more. A LOT MORE.
- Yeppers, weight has come back, but I'm weighing in daily and have stayed within 2 pounds of my doctor visit weight of (cringe, it almost hurts to type this) 170.
- I realize "i did the work" but I must say, the band does a shitload of it for me.
- I miss being full, and staying that way for a long time after a smallish meal.

Ok, the good, again I won't lie: I've cheerfully taken a dive in to no-lap-band-land and eaten...EGGS! Salad! Diet Pepsi. Bread, a couple times. Pizza, too many times. A burrito. I've taken big bites, and chewed poorly. I've drank giant glasses of water with food. In tandem. I've drank water to wash down the aforementioned big, poorly chewed bite, and nothing has flown back out!

Sure, it's been fun to eat the things I "can't" normally. But here are Jenn's words'o'wisdom: Don't think it's all good. I feel like shit, or, relative shit - I remember how tired I was from eating too many carbs...I've had heartburn from eating tomato sauce, oy, yeah, those were the days.

Bottom line: My lap-band RULES. I would be fat without it, as I was before, and well, as much as I'd like to not depend on it - I do. And I'll be happy to have'er back.

Here's a little update of me a few days pre-unfill:

Not the most flattering angle, but you get the gist.
Hope everyone is well! I'll be posting from across the pond, to my other Photo Blog, starting this coming weekend!