Two Months Today!

Today is the two-month anniversary of my surgery - very exciting! I couldn't be more happy with my progress. Today I weighed in at 34 pounds down! For some reason, for me, losing 20 or 30 pounds seems like not too much really - I mean, when you're looking 100 pounds+ squarely in the face (and on your ass, thighs and stomach) dropping 20 or 30 feels like a drop in the bucket - that said, somehow, losing 40 or 50 feels like a million! Don't think I'm complaining - I'm not - it's just as I creep closer to 40 pounds, it's starting to feel real to me. Like something is really really happening!


Somehow looking at myself in this set of photos really allows me to see it! (I'm not sure why chopping my head out helps, but it does...). Check out my companion photoblog for a full batch of updated photos :)


So, in the two months since going under the knife, I have had good success for many reasons:

1) Incredible support! Ok, you all know who you are...you who listen, encourage, notice, suggest, say nothing, or help me stay on track when I need it.

2) Getting to the gym! This has been the greatest surprise to me - that I like, look forward to and can barely stand to miss a workout. Not because I'm some workout freak-a-zoid, but because it just truly makes me feel good.

3) The food intake is under control! While until this week I don't think I really had a true picture of what restriction was - I'm there now. But, until now, I've had some hearty willpower and made good choices. I'm happy about that! However, at this point the band is really choosing for me, which is what I want it to do.

The only bummer is that yeah, sometimes I miss just being able to eat whatever I want...not because I'm hungry, but more for the little stress attack I have at times when the food choices appear incompatible with my lapband. It always works out, but it's a little anxiety inducing.

And, well, the 'ole PB is just no fun. Had episode #2 last night as I horked up a chunk of chicken the size of a quarter - looking at it, (again, in the freakin' public toilet - a new sort of fun for the other red robin patrons sharing the restroom with me) - I wondered how in the world it made it past my insane chewing and mindful choosing of teeny bites. I have to be vigilant now - this is new with Fill #2 - any PB is user error; it's always going to be 'my fault,' though, after a fill, it's a learning experience each time. I don't beat myself up for it, but rather take note of it. The bottom line is that PB's are a bit traumatic for me - it's scary, anxiety-inducing, physically painful/uncomfortable, I always break into a sweat, and well, they just suck.

BUT, I will be a little inconvenienced once in a while food-choice wise, and PB here and there to be able to report in 1-2 pound/week weight losses! It's worth it - don't get me wrong. I feel lucky and blessed that I was able to afford to make this life change for myself. I hope I get to report in on December 12th with good news again!!