Passing 30...

So I've been dying to get past the 30-pound loss mark. Yesterday I was at 29.5 - sooooo slow! I thought, anyhow. Well, today the scale showed a definite loss of 31 pounds!

I'm in love with my lap-band. No shit. Despite feeling like I had a shitty, shitty weekend - martinis galore, three mini-cupcakes, two "big" dinners, some halloween candy late last week...BUT, what I forget and have to remember is the fact that I'm still eating so much less than in the past, and that most days really are pretty routine.

I'm beginning to see that these "missteps" are really just life, you know? I mean the goal of this thing is to be able to live like a normal person! For me, that means going out for drinks once in a while, having a cupcake at a birthday party, eating a mini-Twix or mini-Butterfinger once a year at Halloween. What is beautiful and amazing to me is that the band is forgiving enough to allow me these indulgences and yet I still continue to move toward my goal. However, I realize I am doing my part. I'm planning my meals pretty well, cooking at home and I'm going to the gym every day, working out at a nice level that I enjoy but that still pushes me.

So, tomorrow is Fill #2 - I'm nervous but excited! Fill #1 has been fairly forgiving - I can eat a little bread, rice or pasta if I choose. Red meat goes down. As long as I don't eat things that are too glutenous or drink a giant gulp of water after eating a good bit of food, I don't really 'pay' for anything. And, since that fill nearly 4 weeks ago, I've lost 7 pounds - right on schedule (1-2/lbs./week) - so in theory, I could stay here. But I won't. I can still overeat if I choose. I want to employ the band as my willpower! So, fill tomorrow - along with greater restriction comes the risk of greater incidents of discomfort. And of course, greater weight loss!!!