Why the Lap-Band? Why now? Why? Why? Why?...

I have been heavy all of my life. I was on my first diet at age 5 and I still remember how proud I was of my 20 pound weight loss! I continued dieting throughout school, and into adulthood. I had a huge turning point when my grandmother died and my aunt sent me a slew of family photos - photos of generations of women built *just like me*! For the first time, I thought - my god, this may not be all my fault! It allowed me to stop beating myself up and start looking for ways to improve my weight that might actually work! I did some emotional work too via a therapy group for people with eating disorders and food issues - this was also a huge change for me. I stopped hating my body, and found a place of being at peace with my shape.

Then came along weight-related health issues - insulin resistance, creeping up blood-pressure, hip, knee and ankle pain...at 34! I decided that I had to do something. I did my research on both the gastric bypass and the adjustable lap-band and decided that, with a BMI of 40 and some other band-friendly characteristics (not a snacker/grazer, not a sweet-eater, more of a volume-eater, etc.), I decided the band was for me. I figured if I failed miserably, the bypass could always be done at a later time, right? But I think I'll be successful or I wouldn't be plunking down this kind of cash :)