Ok, so I'm freaking out about having scars on my already not-so-sexy stomach. Why? I guess because, as my good friend ck pointed out, we're all vain on some level. Well, I recall how I looked the last time I dropped 75 pounds or so - and I still had (and will have) a chubby tummy - and really, that's ok. But, somehow a chubby tummy with 5 "punch holes" and 1 scar that's about 1.5" smack left of center makes my stomach turn over (pun intended). Who cares? It's not like I'm ever gonna wear a bikini, right? Right.
Perhaps it's a reminder that I did this to myself, and moreso that I felt I had to do this to myself - because I can't do it by myself. I've accepted that fact on many levels - I mean, my God have I tried just about everything over the years! You who know me know this. But I think it's still an intense, reflective day when one throws up their hands as to say, "uncle...ok, ok, ok ...I give".
So, I give. And in return, I get....6 unwelcome scars to remind me every day forever more - though I'm sure at some point I'll embrace them as what got me to where I wanted to go.