Sunday, January 15, 2006

Finally Fifty. 50. That's five-zero.

So, ok, it was bound to happen: The freakin' scale moved! FINALLY. It was frustrating to the point where I just stayed off the scale for a few days. I was exhausted seeing the same thing. But, as I hoped, the post-fill liquid/soft food days functioned as a reset button. Today the scale said a firm 208 - that's a 50-pound total loss! I swear I could've burst into tears on the scale - but instead I just stared and it and felt happy so as not to look like a freak at the gym.

In other related news, I went to two regular-size-people stores and was actually able to buy something! I got an XL Charter Club sweater at Macy's *not* in Women's World and then a very cool XL shirt at J. Jill followed up with the crowning jewel: A Size L sweater, also from J. Jill. Now then, I realize sizes vary, but how goddamn cool is it to have something with an "L" on the tag in my closet? Well, you know the answer. Pretty f*cking cool.

Last, I called the first surgeon's office whom I had started with in June just to see if I weighed more and indeed, I did. In June, I was a burgeoning 262. So, the real good news is that since June I've lost 54 pounds. But I'm keeping my official total/ticker to what I was when I went to my surgeon in August. Still, all good news, no?

p.s. Sorry for my erratic posting - break-up land has been less-than-palatable... I recently learned that one of the stages of grief is depression - somehow I didn't know this. I seem to be well past denial (stage 1), and am now bouncing around between stages 2, 3 & 4 - anger, bargaining and depression, respectively - all while looking forward to stage 5, acceptance. Seems the depression part tends to preclude me from posting. Thanks for all your nice messages reminding me to come back - it helps!

5 comments:

Jenn said...

Many congrats on the "regular" size clothes! It is a damn fine feeling to know you can walk into a store that doesn't sell plus-sized clothing and not be looked at like you're a moron for being there, isn't it?!

Serena said...

Congratulations.
Yeah break-ups suck! And the longer you were together the longer it takes to get past that cycling of emotions. Hang in there!

Sandi Hooper said...

Yeah Jenn, I love that feeling too. I got to buy a regular size pair of levis the other day, and it was very surreal trying on all the different sizes first! I've had people treating me differently too. Very strange and fun.

Depression is a sneaky little beggar, isn't it? You think you're doing ok, then all of the sudden it dawns on you that you're not doing even the basics... Keep posting, it's critical.

Anonymous said...

CONGRATS on the 50 pound loss!! i am almost 1 month post-op and was happy to fit into some clothes that were forgotten in the closet that were in the too-tight category, haha :)

Kaye Bailey said...

Congratulations! I am enjoying reading your story and learning more about the daily life of a lap-bander.

Cheers!
Kaye