Uncle!!

Ok, note to self (and to lap-banders everywhere!): Do not get an aggressive fill before traveling. Especially internationally. Where they eat lots of rice. But really, not at all.

I have not been having a lot of fun since my last fill. I have an appointment on 6/23 where I plan to go back to 2.0cc’s from the 2.1 I have now. Here’s why: I am having a little PB festival every time I eat. I even PB’d water while I was in Manila – it was first thing in the morning and I awoke parched and slammed a ½ a bottle of water. Ok, so maybe it was my fault…but water? Really?? Further, it seems that the only meat that is friendly to me right now is fish – and even that, I have to be sooooo careful. And you all know what this leads to…

Soft foods. So I’ve been eating cheese. Which is fine, I always do – but I worry I’m eating too much. And in Manila, I actually drank frappacinos – yes – a glass of calories really – almost *daily*. Good lord! I do not do that!!! I certainly will have desserts, but in a calculated way, not in a daily downing of a giant, glorified milkshake! In New York, I failed to get through Chinese food, barely made it through Indian and well, nachos (one of my mainstays) both times were not seamless. Thankfully, my birthday dinner was ok: 1 oz Manchego cheese; about 8 mussels; 4-5 of the crispiest potato rounds I could find in the batch; and later in the evening, shared creamy dessert (cheesecake, mousse cake) with a hot cappuccino to get it down smoothly (all went well – happy birthday to me!).

While I love fish, I worry about gaining weight in this panicked mindset – because what actually happens is that you eat this insanely small amount, get a little stuck, and then a little later – 30 – 60 minutes maybe – it goes “clunk” and works through the band. Then you’re starving. So you eat crap to not be hungry. All signs, and obvious ones, of being too tight. That said, I did want to give it the college try and also allow the fill to settle in. I know too many people who panicked a week after a fill and regretted it later. I just wanted to be sure.

And, well folks, I am. That said, I do think I’m dropping weight – haven’t weighed myself in a while, though the scale in Manila put me at exactly what I weighed last time I was at the surgeon’s office. And certainly, if I don’t lose, though it feels like reverse psychology – the best thing to do is loosen up. If I do lose, it becomes a tougher choice, no? I mean, if I’m losing, and that’s my primary goal *for the moment*, maybe I’ll just eat fish for a while? We’ll see.

But don’t do this. If you have a lap-band, reschedule that fill for after big foreign/domestic celebratory travels. Trust me!