Camel

Ok, I'm trying not to obsess or become cult-like in my practice of Bikram Yoga, but oddly, it's kind of, well, addictive. Anyhow, the deal is you do 26 poses, twice each, in a 105 degree room. It takes 90 minutes and is said to cure all ills, basically. For me, as you all know, I'm chugging away at it in my weight loss efforts (hence my blathering on about it here).

Today, during the pose Camel - (you're up on your knees, put your hands on your back as if you were going to put your hands in your back pocket. Then, you lean back, ultimately placing your hands on your heels and doing a pretty deep back bend. Push your hips forward, pull your chest up to the ceiling. Oy, it's one of the two "crowning" poses of the series....see photo) Robert, the instructor, said, "If you're an introvert, this pose is...um, good for you." Not being an introvert, I still perked up to hear why as I'm semi-obsessed with introvert/extrovert dynamics, mainly because I'm a banner extrovert (I know, shocking!). He went on, "This pose forces you to extrovert - it makes you lean back into an unknown you can't see and put yourself out there...and that requires a lot of trust." Huh.

Well, this extrovert is here to say at that moment, the whole posture made more sense to me too! What's funny is I LOVED Camel before my plastic surgery; since, I've hardly been able to let myself do it. Fear. Afraid I can't, or that I will crack in half, or some other excuse... On the second set (he made this comment after the first), I just let myself trust it.

My stomach will not tear in half.
I will not fall backwards.
I will not blackout (completely, anyhow)
I am super flexible.
I used to be able to do this really well.
I can hold it.
I can get back up.

And you know what, I did.

I think my point is that being in touch with your body, and connecting it to what is going on for you emotionally, is a challenge whether introvert or extrovert I think - the difference is where that processing occurs. Yoga - and Bikram in particular - is proving to become serious practice for me working out so much shit in my life, because somehow it makes you think about the bigger picture, even though all you really have to do is lean back and grab your heels; it really is a much bigger thing than that - if you're not afraid of it and let it happen. How much in your life does that apply to? I can list about 20 right here, right now...

That's what I'll be working on for the next bit. Eventually, I want weight loss/maintenance to be the by-product of doing Bikram, not my driving force getting me there. It'll be interesting to see where it takes me once I get to that point. Meanwhile, the weight loss drive is getting me there - and whatever works, I'm going with it!

p.s. No, that is not me in the photo. Good Lord, my thighs will never be that skinny. And I'm not a blonde :)