Plastics

So today was my plastic surgeon consult. And boy, do they make you want it.

I went in figuring this would be the appointment that made me say, "Ok, for my $75, I now know I don't want to be hacked into, no franken-body for me, I'm perfectly fine the way I am. Hmpf." Rather, I left thinking, "how soon can I schedule this??" So let me connect the dots for you.

I went to see the sort of higher-end nip/tuck-like doc over in white-upper-class-bellevue, Dr. Sepehr Egrari. The pretty girl at the front desk greeted me with warmth and friendliness. I went to his office, sat on the couch. He came in and we had some smalltalk...etc. Then we got down to it - I told him I was thinking tummy-tuck-boob-job. I told him a size 8 or so was fine, I had no illusions about ever being a 2 or 4, nor was I really comfortable with that. He said, "good, I get a lot of people with unrealistic expectations." He is a fan of the LBL (Lower Body Lift) and said that a breast lift wouldn't require impants (which I didn't want) - and yeah, at my "small size" he could likely do both together. "Let's go examine you," he said.

Melissa, the also-gorgeous nurse, dressed to the nines in full make-up, explained the little outfit to me. Paper stick-on panties, and a glorified paper tube top. He came in and took the tube top off - and gasped. I thought, "Am I that horrific? I mean, I know it's not pretty...but dude, that's what I'm here for, no??" Melissa chimed in with a little gasp of her own, nodding at the doc.

He said, "Oh, my, you have a very unique body."
Um, this is not sounding good...please go on, I thought.

"You have a gorgeous natural curvy waist - this is excellent! You cannot buy a shape like this." Melissa agreed with vigor. "You will have an amazing outcome." He was visibly excited. He went on to convince me of the full-on LBL, which I'd been quite opposed to prior to this visit. He hiked up skin here and there and showed me what I will look like. Or helped me visualize at a minimum. I'll likely lose my tattoo (low back), or part of it (ug?). I'll have a wrap-around scar from above the pubic bone, up at an angle like a g-string/bikini, and then around the back just above "the crack of the bottom." Eek. Being bi-sected is about as appealing and poking out my eyes...but, having 10 pounds of skin sagging off me isn't so hot either.

He went on to tell me exactly how many milimeters too low my boobs are currently (that's a great moment, btw) and that I'd still be a big C, small D when he was done with'em. I used to think I wanted to be small - but now I realize I'm kinda attached actually, so I'm glad to keep'em around. And that I wouldn't have to wear a bra if I didn't want to (something I haven't done since 4th grade maybe?). Scars here will be around the nipple, down the center (from the nipple down) and a c-shaped one underneath at the crease. Not excited about franken-body or franken-boobies either.

I got dressed and Melissa gave me a tour. She is genuine to the Nth degree, but the whole office kinda had that secret feeling of "come on, jenn, be one of us. the beautiful people. just do it..." The OR looked oh-so-Nip/Tuck it was freakish. "Your procedure will be about 8 hours; then we let you wake up and require you to walk to your car when you're ready to head home, about 3-4 hours later." Yikes. "We wash your hair before you go, since you can't shower for 4-days with the drains and pain pump. We want you to feel good!" Pain pump? High-five for that sucker. Compression garments. Drains. Ew...then it was time for the dreaded "before" photos, for which I stripped down to my pretty-paper-panties and the doc snapped 8 shots of me, and complimented me on my ability to follow directions (I'd apparently done a good job of turning as I'd been instructed).

Overall they poo-poo'd all the pain and suffering, focusing on results. How sales-pitchy, but ultimately true. That said, the recovery sounds abyssmal; but, it's a few weeks of yick for a lifetime of goodness. I get that.

Next up was Karen who kindly printed three quotes up for me: LBL alone, Breast lift alone...and then the big enchilada combining both. Our price tag? $19K. Ug, but I knew it, planned for it, and it's doable - but holy hannah, both surgeries add up to a whopping $36K (lap-band+plastics)- getting skinny ain't cheap, and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

All I need to do is plunk down $500 for a date. I'm at 180ish right now, he said to drop 10 more before surgery (170), and he'd be lobbing off around 9-12 (160) and that most people lose 5-7 after surgery due to not wanting to eat (150-155). That said, my goal is to drop 20 before, getting me under 150 once I'm done. He said I could go on, too, and lose 10-20 afterwards without messing up the gig. Or, he said "It'd be fine to do this for your tonight really..." um, no.

My big question is this: "If I lose 30 pounds more and get to 150, will I still need the LBL or can I get away with a TT?" I will ask. I'm guessing either way it's good - my back side could use a little pick-me-up I suppose - and the TT alone isn't really that much cheaper, though, I'm more bummed about the bi-section than the money. Really. More importantly though, I wonder "Can they fatten up my tush so I actually have an ass???" I suppose that will cost extra.