Seriously

Here's me, about an hour or so ago. Mind you, these are "old" jeans that still work since I'm wearing compression garments and gauze and swelling. Just thought I'd offer a contrast shot from Christmas 2004... Give me a little time and I'll get some actual, post-plastics swelling, finish up of the last 13 pounds, etc. pix for y'all. I'm actually beginning to see myself as a totally normal looking girl. How'bout that?

A Day In The Life...

Getting better is hard. Seriously. One has to considerably lower the bar in terms of what the definition of "achievement" or "productivity" looks like. For example, each day, I'm trying to walk a bit farther OR faster (but not yet both); do at least one "special activity points" task and break a small sweat at least once.

Today, it looked like this:

8:00: Bathe. This is more of a chore than you can imagine. Emotionally, my self-talk through this process reminds me of a run around Greenlake. It goes a little like this:

Getting started: awesome Jenn, look at you! you can clean yourself!
About 1/2 way: Cool, body clean, just need to wash your hair...
Clean Girl: Ok, now, wash you face...that's it, keep going...brush those teeth...
To the bedroom: Lotion. Just put it on. It's good. You'll feel soft, it's winter...no skipping this step or you will be itchy all day and mad at yourself!
Get Dressed: Oh, I know, you're getting pooped, but you're in the home stretch!
Dry hair: Ok, this is hard. But you can sit on your little stool for this. It won't take long....
Last Little Bit, C'mon Girl!: Throw a few curling iron twirls through the ole' mop, pop in a barrett, eyeliner......mascara......face powder.

And we're back on the couch, exhausted.

10:30 a..m: Walk the one block to Lighthouse Coffee. Now, this one is easy as there is a true 'carrot' at the midway point in the form of a rockstar coffee. (Note: Now that I am dating *yes, officially* Jill, who actually owns a coffeeshop in a totally different yet nearby neighborhood, I may need to rescind my unadulturated gushing about how Lighthouse is the best coffeehouse in Seattle...perhaps now, I will at a minimum equate it to her very cool shop, Cloud City Coffee). But I digress (imagine...)...

12:00 Lunch Date: My pal Kirsten came by with the awesome soup from the Greek place by work, and a pita. We visit, it's fun! She leaves, I rest...

3:00 Special Activity - Laundry!: I start the small load of whites, noting the 3 p.m. time. Tidy up the living room and kitchen, just put some stuff away, wipe the counters, gather up the trash. Fold some existing laundry...I'm so proud, thinking I've worked for a good hour! Broken my requisite sweat for the day even...I land on the couch to find the time at a whoopin' 3:18. That's it's folks - I got 18 minutes of energy in me.

4:00 Kate pops by, having run a few errands for me. We visit. It's low key and nice.

Then I putter, watch TV, rat-tat-tat on my computer...Samantha pops over. Kels comes home from work. Samantha leaves. Anh pops over with an absolutely FABULOUS new shirt for me for Christmas...I can't wait to wear it!! Anh takes off, meanwhile though Jill has arrived and we order dinner which she picks up, and then we just hang out and visit until she has to take off....

And that's a day in the life of Jenn right now. Riveting, no? It's funny how in normal life, I'd look at a day like this as unproductive but right now, I sleep well knowing I'm progressing!

Tuesday: Hoping to walk 2 blocks, need to put laundry away, and I think run the vacuum. The Samantha/Anita duo are coming tonight and making soup for dinner - I'm still just a little bit 'Martha, ya know? Gotta clean up for company!

p.s. Body is holding up well. I'm still doing Tylenol every 4 hours + the anti-biotic, occasional Benedryl when I get itchy around the incisions. My sides are sooooo tight sometimes it feels like I might tear in 2, but I don't....and honestly, the most discomfort is still the drain entry points, which I should only have to deal with through the end of the week, and I can handle that. For all that was done to this lil' bod of mine, I'd say the discomfort level really isn't something to be complained about!

OH YEAH, and for the love of gawd, I sneezed for the first time yesterday and thought my stomach was going to rupture to the tune of Sigourney Weaver birthing an alien. It didn't, but I did confirm that I sneeze about 1/week, and that indeed, each and every abdominal muscle you have comes heartily into play when you sneeze.

Introducing: My New Chest!

For the first time since around 5th grade, braless!! I got this tank top a few weeks ago just for this post :) Check out Blue Platypus for some really cool shirts! But, more importantly, check out below for some really cool boobs. :)

The Past Week Has Been a Blur...

I feel like I'm starting to be able to rejoin the real world. For a bit, the only way I knew I'd spoken to someone was to review my "recently dialed calls" list on my cell phone during moments of lucidity (i.e., almost time for next dose of meds...)...no joke! I am on Day 5 I guess, not counting surgery day, and I am off narcotics!! Or, at least I'm trying to be - I'm taking tylenol and seeing how I do. Still wiped out and tired - but able to give myself a very respectable sponge bath (mobility has MUCH improved) and feel clean and tidy enough. All bodily functions have resumed - without giving any details - but those who've had surgery know this is a big deal...

I'm a little achy here and there, still negotiating two drains (which are housed in my very fashionable fanny pack) and of course, I'm bound up from hips to chest in a velcro body-wrap and industrial bra. Sexy. It's weird to be squeezed all the time. I suppose it's like getting a constant, somehwhat relentless, hug. Coughing is still no joy, and bending over to say, put socks on, is still not possible. But I can get up and down without wincing, walk across the street and up and down the block...and I even cleaned the bathroom sink. Will the small miracles ever cease? ;)

But here is the crux of this post...I am sad about my boobs.

I think I'm actually grieving the loss of my big boobs, or, perhaps moreso, my identity as a big-boobed girl. I know, I know "this is what YOU wanted Jenn!" true - but hear me out. Though I'd been asking my mom for a breast reduction since about 6th grade, at some point as a teen/early adult, despite being fat, I started to identify - in a good way - with being a girl of ample bosom. It was like, "well, at least I've got that" "that" being one part of my body that was not only societially accepted, but actually celebrated/approved. Am I making sense? So along with the 95% of my body that was essentially "unapproved" (fat) in having the plastic surgery, I also kinda gave up the one part that I think made me feel like I was 'ok' in the past - my giant chest. And mind you, I easily could've opted for implants and kept myself a healthy D or bigger - but I never gave that a thought. I've already got one foreign object in me (my lap band) and I had no need or interest in any more. I never even considered this.

All that said, I had a little moment last night where I just felt some sadness as I looked at my new, C-cup, cute, perky, adorable lil' boobs. They're awesome by anyone's standard - not to toot my own horn, but rather to toot my surgeon's - he did a seriously bang up job. They fit my new body and honestly, look way better than I expected. But still, they are a mere shadow of their former selves...but then again, so am I. I cheated and weighed myself: 171. Wow, 16 lbs, much of which will go with recovery/swelling reduction and I'm at my glorious goal weight of 155.




I am ok with this - and I will adapt and surely embrace the new ta-ta's (ya know, braless in a fabulous dress, for example :) but, I think I may need to just be a little sad and pay homage to what they once were before I get there. And that's ok - this whole losing a person's worth of fat is a process, and honoring these steps keep me emotionally healthly - not doing so just stuffs down feelings that are there regardless of whether or not I deal with them. It's just funny how though the whole thing is exactly what I wanted, yet it's also true that nothing this big and life-changing comes without some serious emotional processing and work. I'm 'in' though, so I know it will be ok!

xoxo, from my seemingly permanent position on my couch,
~jenn

So, What's It Been Like?

I will not diminish the intensity of the past 4 or 5 days - but I will say that all things considered, I rate myself a hearty "B+" in terms of recovery. Why? Well, on Wednesday, I managed to get myself up and to the toilet and back down onto the couch. Small achievement to some, but huge for me. Wearing the compression garments (girdle and industrial bra) is odd - sometimes it's hard to differentiate between actual skin/incision tightness vs. the binder. By Thursday, I essentially have been able to get and up and down entirely on my own many, many times/day! I've bathed myself along twice and had help once washing my hair. All in all, I feel far less gross that I anticipated.

Yesterday was my 4-day appointment. I had my pain pump removed (it took 5 seconds, no pain) and all of the steri-strips covering all incisions removed, wounds washed and new steri's put on. I got another look at myself and am still quite pleased with the results. Having always had an ample bosom, it's still odd to look down and see these cute little C cups boobies - but they fit my body and really look amazing! Interestingly, the do all the stiches under the skin and use the strips to hold the outside layer of skin together. This leaves a hairline scar as time goes on. However, there are some herkin' stiches along the waistline as that area requires much more reinforcement. Oh, and my 'new' belly button looks really cool too - all in all, I couldn't be happier at this stage.

Melissa said I was doing really well, and that some people just come in with attitudes that work against their recovery. Needless to say, I am so excited and motivated to get better, there is no question that it's helping to move things along. For now, I'm still bound up (1 month), drains we're looking at next Wednesday or so for removal (he haw!) and then they take your 1-month photos. My surgeon popped in to check a few things and I told him I worshipped him and was so thankful and pleased with the job he did. Honestly, looking at the before/after shots, the guy has a gift.

Oh yea, I wanted to post about what I'm eating! As you bandsters can imagine, I'm terrified of stuckage/PB's - my abs hurt when I cough, move etc. sooooo bad that the last thing I'd want to have to do is a PB. To that end, I've basically put myself back on liquids/mushies. I've had 2-3 protein shakes/day, 2 small yogurts (the kind that come in a 6-pack), crackers, and applesauce. I did have a tiny bit of tuna salad and cheese one night too. The good news is that it's resetting my clock - no sugar, caffiene, alcohol. And, outside of sugar, I imagine caffeine and alcochol will be back in the mix eventually, it's always good to hit that reset button. I'm overall not terribly hungry, but I'm not repulsed at the notion of eating either. Oh, and Im' doing 1-3 of those Airbornne things - basically tasty liquid vitamins. And I've been drinking like a fish...hence, peeing like crazy, which is good motivation for getting up and down over and over.

The two biggest bummers: Mother Nature decided to grace me with my period. Yep, fun times managing that when you really can't bend over or reach things very easily. Second, the site where the two lower drains are inserted are a little ouchy, but c'mon, all things considered, I'm delighted in my recovery so far!

Plastics Are Done!!!

Hi all! I had my plastics on Monday 12/11 at 7 a.m. I had red carpet treatment, things move quickly and I was hardly nervous. Jill (girl i am dating) took loads of pix while the surgeon marked me up. Next thing I knew I was in recovery! They removed 13 pounds of skin!!

Everything has kinda ended up as I expected - holy abdominal pain, batman...I had catheter the first night so I could sleep well. Tuesday, went in and got to see the preliminary product!! They removed bandages and I almost cried. I am not kidding - I have the cutest boobs ever (to me, anyhow). a nice belly button and a flat tummy! The boobs ended up a average C - smaller than he had thought they would end up but they look great! My mom was there and said, "jennifer, I don't recall you ever having such a perky chest...well, maybe when you were 10." And went on to say she was jealous of them :) They redressed the wounds, removed the breast drains and got me all tidied up.

The last two days have consisted drugs and sleep... Oxycodone every 4 hours, an antibiotic every 6 hours along with a homeopathic combo the surgeon gave me for swelling and bruising (which, after 1 day, I had a small 2" segment of bruising on my left hip)...and a valium at night to assure good sleep! It's day 3 today, and I got up to pee all alone 4 times, gave myself a little sponge-bath and my pal Vickie who has been taking care of me at her house washed my hair for me! It does seem as long as I stay on top of the drugs, I really have no pain except for getting up and down, and a little stinging at one of the drain sites.

I have a load of pix which I'm happy to share with other WLS folks considering a LBL or breast lift. Just comment here with you email address (I'll delete it once I get it) and I'll send you a few. For now though, I thought a before & after tummy shot wouldn't offend anyone...so how'bout them apples??

Surgery on Monday!

Check out today's horoscope:

Here is your horoscope for Friday, December 8:

It's time for you to shed those last traces of hesitation and take a leap of faith. Your willingness to lay everything on the line and go for that make-or-break choice will reward you beyond anything you've imagined.

Here's some information about what's going to happen. I'll try to post again before, but if not, I'm certain to post after.

- I am having two primary procedures: LBL (Lower Body Lift) and a BL (breast lift - mastopexy)
- The estimated time of surgery is 9 hours (yes, I know, 9 hours is long...I get that)
- I will have an incision around my entire waist, front to back, but the way I carry my weight is good and so my scar will be low around my hips; I will have "anchor" incisions on my breasts, which means below them in a c-shape, a line up and then a circle around the nipple area (which should keep all sensation/functionality based on how he's doing it).
- They will sew up my abdominal muscles to tighten them and give me more of a waist - this is the primary pain that I will have after the surgery; hardly anyone complains of incision pain.
- I will keep my belly button, but it will be repositioned based on my "new" stomach landscape.
- They expect to remove between 5-12 pounds of skin/fat, etc.
- Liposuction will only be used if needed for contouring of the skin.

Here are links to photos of both procedures completed by my surgeon if you are interested in seeing the outcome of these types of surgeries:

LBL: http://www.egrari.com/gallery/wl_body_contouring/wl_1.shtml
BL: http://www.egrari.com/gallery/breast_lift/breast_lift_1.shtml - NOTE: I am getting Mastopexy alone; no augmentation (which means implants). They're just hiking them up, not adding (good lord!) anything to them.

Here also is a helpful link that explains the process for the BL with drawings:
http://www.plasticsurgery.org/patients_consumers/procedures/Mastopexy.cfm

They do not have one for LBL, but this shows the procedure for a tummy tuck, which is the key part of the LBL:
http://www.plasticsurgery.org/patients_consumers/procedures/Abdominoplasty.cfm

Hope everyone is doing well!
xoxo

This Lap-Bander's Thanksgiving Plate

Normalizing

One my of pals is always like, "Why ya gotta be all "I got a lapband" the first minute people meet you?" At first I was like, "Well, it's a little all-consuming..." But over time, I started to wonder the same thing. Like, when do I just get to be ya know, a semi-normal person who eats small portions?

So, I met this girl.

The first time we went out, I got some nachos. They were huge. So my picking at them really went unnoticed because no normal person would've really dented them.

The second time we went out, we went to this *amazing* place called Baguette Box. They make this stunning baguette sandwiches. But c'mon, we all know most bandsters aren't chowing down baguettes! So, I get the red-wine braised pork, open'er up, and eat the innards (about 1/2) with a fork, grabbing a little of the wine-soaked bread along the way. So, she gets the skirt steak baguette and you can see where this is going....she was done with the whole thing, and I hardly looked like I'd eaten.

She said, "Oh man, I am such a pig! You're hardly started and I ate that whole thing!!"

I put down my fork and came clean. The last thing I'd ever want is a girl, who I'm kinda digging, to feel like she was a pig because of my lapband! She was very gracious, curious and was then like, "oh, ok, now I feel better!" It's just a funny thing, I guess, the whole thing.

By the way - we're on date #6 now! Could be it??? We'll see. One day (date) at a time...

I caught the bouquet!

Scary, I know...but I caught the bouquet. You can see a little bit of how I'm looking in these photos :)

~jenn

Former Fat Girl Moment 289: The Bathtub

I took a bath this morning; not something I do often, but felt like it today. Used to be when I drained the tub, I'd sit up, let it drain...and then stand up, allowing the rush of water stuck behind my wide ass to rush past the already-empty front end of the tub toward the drain. My hips were basically damming up the draining of the bath, holding 1/3 of the water back. Today, after I drained the front of the tub, I stood up waiting for the rush of water to come from behind...but it didn't! The tub was completely empty already. :) In other words, I am no longer so wide as to horizontally fill my tub. Who thinks of these little victories until they happen?

In other news - not much to report:
- still stuck at 180ish - criminy!!
- terrified and excited all at once for surgery on dec. 11
- settling into my body though, for a while, it didn't feel like mine - and sometimes I wonder if that's why I've gotten stuck at this weight - inside, a part of me is like, "no, you have to settle in here before you advance"...like karate, no moving on to your next belt until you've mastered the one before it. sometimes, that's how it feels...but lately, when i look in the mirror, it looks 'right' - wls folks, i think you get what i mean here??
- my baby sister gets married tomorrow! i bought a hot (and very alterable :) dress to wear. i'm very excited!! i'll aim for getting a photo to y'all :)

Hope everyone is well! Sorry I keep checking out, but I'm actually doing well in the scheme of things!

I Have Joined a Cult

Ok, so we WLS folks (mostly) have to work to truly embrace exercise. It sucks to try to move a 260+ pound body. But, I gotta tell you - I've found it. I've officially joined the cult of the lovers of Hot Yoga - formally called Bikram Yoga. What is this, you ask? Well, it's 26 postures of yoga done in a room heated to 105-110 degrees. Hotter than the blazes of hellfire. Yes. But there is this thoughtful discipline about it - you want to do better, and the instructors don't hesitate to say "looks good Jenn, just bring your hips forward a little" or something every class.

So how did this happen? My pal ck asked me to go with him...for, well, months...and one Sunday morning a few weeks back, I was feeling pretty beaten down after a difficult Saturday night. So, I figured, why not try it when I already feel like shit, right? Well...now, I'm running around like an evangelist: I found hot yoga! Join me!

So you say, "I hate being hot!" Me too. HATE IT - hello, I live in the Pacific NW for a reason! But now, I cannot imagine do yoga in a cold room. So, I went back that following Monday and bought the unlimited month with a goal of going 3-4x/week, I've gone 9 times this month already. I cannot describe why I'm in love with it, other than to say you sweat buckets and feel the same as you do after running 5 miles - but without struggling past the mental block of simply not really liking it. For me, with running, the challenge really is to just not hate it the whole time. Hot yoga, the challenge is to take it to the next level and I love about every minute of it.

Oh, and did I mention, at ~180 lbs (yes, yes, still........ug), in the 90-minute session I burn 1225 calories. No shit people. Talk about a good return on investment! Outside of sprinting, there isn't much that will bang out that many calories - heart rate gets up for a good chunk of it. And again, I like it!

I'm hoping it will kick me back into weightloss gear, as I cannot for life of me figure out what I'm doing wrong. That said, you cannot drink alcohol and do this yoga the next morning - so I've reduced my liquid calories in that arena significantly. Plus, I've axed out all sugar and liquid calories (except for a little wine with dinner here and there) ....again. Trying to just be super-mindful. Sadly, it is amazing how calories start creeping back in and while I've not gained a stitch, I'm not moving down either. So, between sweating 3 pounds off most days, and re-commiting to the 10 Lap-Band commitments, let's hope for some progress!!

Hope you all are well!

18/20s??

I have a slew of simple, long sleeve v-neck and crew neck Lane Bryant shirts in a variety of solid, fall colors (orange, black, red, brown). I would love to pass them on to someone! Soooooo, whoever emails me first at: cutiepie@pobox.com I will send them to you (and then delete this post). So, ready, set go!!!!!!!!!!

Pictures Speak 1000 Words...Or, 80 Pounds

Locked'n'Loaded

Plastic surgery is scheduled for Monday, December 11, 2006. Deposit paid. Adobe stock, thank you very muchly, is on my side, and well, I'm just not afraid anymore. I'll be 35-and-a-half that day, which means my 6-month post-op will be on my birthday in June. I like the number 11 - well, I like odd #s in general, and 11 seemed a better one that 13 (I'm not that superstitious, but why mess if you don't have to?? :)

Now, the hardcore work of dropping the rest of the weight with a hearty deadline to work toward (hey, I was a journalism major for a reason - I kick ass when on a deadline!). Oddly, for having 40+ inches of incisions, I'm completely excited.

Yay!

One Year Today: Then & Now




Bigger post to follow soon...a lot going on. Just know I'm happy with how I've done! I mean really, look!!!!

60 Minutes

Today, Anhl and I decided to aim for 60 minutes and see how we did. We ran the first lap around the lake in 33 minutes - about 11.6 minute miles. When I asked for the first time where we were at on the second lap, she said 49 minutes total. Then I thought, "Ok, thats like 2 more iPod songs. I can do this." When I waivered, I thought, if I finish, then I can post this to my blog:

I RAN OVER 5 MILES TODAY.
I RAN 60 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING ONCE.

This is the first time in my life I believe I can make these two statements. Hot damn. Glad people read this, as it pushed me for those last 11 minutes!

p.s. Bonus: This run was on 5 hours of sleep, after 2 hours+ of dancing last night, but only one, I repeat one, drink.

p.s.s.
Anhl said, "Um, I'm not so sure about this running in the rain stuff..."
I replied, "Yeah...well, we signed up to do a 1/2 marathon in November. In Seattle." And added, "I believe a trip to REI is in our future..." as today was the first day of serious running-in-the-rain. Jenn also needs to get her some contacts...glasses in the rain? Not so much.

Plastics

So today was my plastic surgeon consult. And boy, do they make you want it.

I went in figuring this would be the appointment that made me say, "Ok, for my $75, I now know I don't want to be hacked into, no franken-body for me, I'm perfectly fine the way I am. Hmpf." Rather, I left thinking, "how soon can I schedule this??" So let me connect the dots for you.

I went to see the sort of higher-end nip/tuck-like doc over in white-upper-class-bellevue, Dr. Sepehr Egrari. The pretty girl at the front desk greeted me with warmth and friendliness. I went to his office, sat on the couch. He came in and we had some smalltalk...etc. Then we got down to it - I told him I was thinking tummy-tuck-boob-job. I told him a size 8 or so was fine, I had no illusions about ever being a 2 or 4, nor was I really comfortable with that. He said, "good, I get a lot of people with unrealistic expectations." He is a fan of the LBL (Lower Body Lift) and said that a breast lift wouldn't require impants (which I didn't want) - and yeah, at my "small size" he could likely do both together. "Let's go examine you," he said.

Melissa, the also-gorgeous nurse, dressed to the nines in full make-up, explained the little outfit to me. Paper stick-on panties, and a glorified paper tube top. He came in and took the tube top off - and gasped. I thought, "Am I that horrific? I mean, I know it's not pretty...but dude, that's what I'm here for, no??" Melissa chimed in with a little gasp of her own, nodding at the doc.

He said, "Oh, my, you have a very unique body."
Um, this is not sounding good...please go on, I thought.

"You have a gorgeous natural curvy waist - this is excellent! You cannot buy a shape like this." Melissa agreed with vigor. "You will have an amazing outcome." He was visibly excited. He went on to convince me of the full-on LBL, which I'd been quite opposed to prior to this visit. He hiked up skin here and there and showed me what I will look like. Or helped me visualize at a minimum. I'll likely lose my tattoo (low back), or part of it (ug?). I'll have a wrap-around scar from above the pubic bone, up at an angle like a g-string/bikini, and then around the back just above "the crack of the bottom." Eek. Being bi-sected is about as appealing and poking out my eyes...but, having 10 pounds of skin sagging off me isn't so hot either.

He went on to tell me exactly how many milimeters too low my boobs are currently (that's a great moment, btw) and that I'd still be a big C, small D when he was done with'em. I used to think I wanted to be small - but now I realize I'm kinda attached actually, so I'm glad to keep'em around. And that I wouldn't have to wear a bra if I didn't want to (something I haven't done since 4th grade maybe?). Scars here will be around the nipple, down the center (from the nipple down) and a c-shaped one underneath at the crease. Not excited about franken-body or franken-boobies either.

I got dressed and Melissa gave me a tour. She is genuine to the Nth degree, but the whole office kinda had that secret feeling of "come on, jenn, be one of us. the beautiful people. just do it..." The OR looked oh-so-Nip/Tuck it was freakish. "Your procedure will be about 8 hours; then we let you wake up and require you to walk to your car when you're ready to head home, about 3-4 hours later." Yikes. "We wash your hair before you go, since you can't shower for 4-days with the drains and pain pump. We want you to feel good!" Pain pump? High-five for that sucker. Compression garments. Drains. Ew...then it was time for the dreaded "before" photos, for which I stripped down to my pretty-paper-panties and the doc snapped 8 shots of me, and complimented me on my ability to follow directions (I'd apparently done a good job of turning as I'd been instructed).

Overall they poo-poo'd all the pain and suffering, focusing on results. How sales-pitchy, but ultimately true. That said, the recovery sounds abyssmal; but, it's a few weeks of yick for a lifetime of goodness. I get that.

Next up was Karen who kindly printed three quotes up for me: LBL alone, Breast lift alone...and then the big enchilada combining both. Our price tag? $19K. Ug, but I knew it, planned for it, and it's doable - but holy hannah, both surgeries add up to a whopping $36K (lap-band+plastics)- getting skinny ain't cheap, and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.

All I need to do is plunk down $500 for a date. I'm at 180ish right now, he said to drop 10 more before surgery (170), and he'd be lobbing off around 9-12 (160) and that most people lose 5-7 after surgery due to not wanting to eat (150-155). That said, my goal is to drop 20 before, getting me under 150 once I'm done. He said I could go on, too, and lose 10-20 afterwards without messing up the gig. Or, he said "It'd be fine to do this for your tonight really..." um, no.

My big question is this: "If I lose 30 pounds more and get to 150, will I still need the LBL or can I get away with a TT?" I will ask. I'm guessing either way it's good - my back side could use a little pick-me-up I suppose - and the TT alone isn't really that much cheaper, though, I'm more bummed about the bi-section than the money. Really. More importantly though, I wonder "Can they fatten up my tush so I actually have an ass???" I suppose that will cost extra.

Run Run Run..Stuck Stuck Stuck

I ran around Greenlake in 35 minutes last week - 15 run, 5 walk, 15 run...and then last night, I ran a good 40-minutes straight up! No stops! And, my iPod even pooped out with 10 minutes to go and I didn't waiver. Hee-haw! It's getting there.

On the other hand, the scale is not working with me at the moment. Granted, I'm bloated. Oh, and I've had a rough few weeks as my mom was diagnosed with an (operable, benign) brain tumor which she had surgery to remove this past Saturday. Needless to say, eating right has not been a priority - though all told, in the realm of it all, I have done ok...but certainly not ok enough to drop any weight. Only 1 week to my 1-year mark...and sadly, I will not make it to 177 as I'd hoped. That said, I will in time - just not next week. Alas....the good news is I got through these past few stressful weeks alive, and mom is expected to make a 100% full recovery, and I didn't gain 10 pounds as I would have pre-banding. There's always an upside, no?

Little Jenny Goes for a Run

So, I did it.

Last weekend, I got the shoes and the bra of steel.

Yesterday, I got the new Motor CD I was waiting for (if you at all like electronic/funk, and buy one album this year like that, this should be it). If you have iTunes, give it a listen. Fabulous workout beat.

So this morning, I went for a run.

Yep! A RUN. I went 27 minutes before my body said, "done" and I just stopped, walked a bit, and then ran the last 3 minutes home for a round 30 minutes of running, 20 of walking. I love running, and I'd forgotten how much - especially the part before it becomes hard :) The first 20 minutes were pure bliss! The last 7 I was really pushing. But that will change and improve in time. I'm not looking to bust out on the marathon course or anything, but 2 or 3 days a week, especially until I'm done losing - and then after more for stress and endophines - will do just fine.

Jenn is running. Holy crap. My scale shows me around 181. That's good too!! I can't wait until a 179.? shows up...I'd take a photo, but even though my camera is small, it will make the weight go up!