Wednesday, September 20, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Locked'n'Loaded
Plastic surgery is scheduled for Monday, December 11, 2006. Deposit paid. Adobe stock, thank you very muchly, is on my side, and well, I'm just not afraid anymore. I'll be 35-and-a-half that day, which means my 6-month post-op will be on my birthday in June. I like the number 11 - well, I like odd #s in general, and 11 seemed a better one that 13 (I'm not that superstitious, but why mess if you don't have to?? :)
Now, the hardcore work of dropping the rest of the weight with a hearty deadline to work toward (hey, I was a journalism major for a reason - I kick ass when on a deadline!). Oddly, for having 40+ inches of incisions, I'm completely excited.
Yay!
Plastic surgery is scheduled for Monday, December 11, 2006. Deposit paid. Adobe stock, thank you very muchly, is on my side, and well, I'm just not afraid anymore. I'll be 35-and-a-half that day, which means my 6-month post-op will be on my birthday in June. I like the number 11 - well, I like odd #s in general, and 11 seemed a better one that 13 (I'm not that superstitious, but why mess if you don't have to?? :)
Now, the hardcore work of dropping the rest of the weight with a hearty deadline to work toward (hey, I was a journalism major for a reason - I kick ass when on a deadline!). Oddly, for having 40+ inches of incisions, I'm completely excited.
Yay!
Tuesday, September 12, 2006
Saturday, September 09, 2006
60 Minutes
Today, Anhl and I decided to aim for 60 minutes and see how we did. We ran the first lap around the lake in 33 minutes - about 11.6 minute miles. When I asked for the first time where we were at on the second lap, she said 49 minutes total. Then I thought, "Ok, thats like 2 more iPod songs. I can do this." When I waivered, I thought, if I finish, then I can post this to my blog:
I RAN OVER 5 MILES TODAY.
I RAN 60 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING ONCE.
This is the first time in my life I believe I can make these two statements. Hot damn. Glad people read this, as it pushed me for those last 11 minutes!
p.s. Bonus: This run was on 5 hours of sleep, after 2 hours+ of dancing last night, but only one, I repeat one, drink.
p.s.s.
Anhl said, "Um, I'm not so sure about this running in the rain stuff..."
I replied, "Yeah...well, we signed up to do a 1/2 marathon in November. In Seattle." And added, "I believe a trip to REI is in our future..." as today was the first day of serious running-in-the-rain. Jenn also needs to get her some contacts...glasses in the rain? Not so much.
Today, Anhl and I decided to aim for 60 minutes and see how we did. We ran the first lap around the lake in 33 minutes - about 11.6 minute miles. When I asked for the first time where we were at on the second lap, she said 49 minutes total. Then I thought, "Ok, thats like 2 more iPod songs. I can do this." When I waivered, I thought, if I finish, then I can post this to my blog:
I RAN OVER 5 MILES TODAY.
I RAN 60 MINUTES WITHOUT STOPPING ONCE.
This is the first time in my life I believe I can make these two statements. Hot damn. Glad people read this, as it pushed me for those last 11 minutes!
p.s. Bonus: This run was on 5 hours of sleep, after 2 hours+ of dancing last night, but only one, I repeat one, drink.
p.s.s.
Anhl said, "Um, I'm not so sure about this running in the rain stuff..."
I replied, "Yeah...well, we signed up to do a 1/2 marathon in November. In Seattle." And added, "I believe a trip to REI is in our future..." as today was the first day of serious running-in-the-rain. Jenn also needs to get her some contacts...glasses in the rain? Not so much.
Friday, September 08, 2006
Plastics
So today was my plastic surgeon consult. And boy, do they make you want it.
I went in figuring this would be the appointment that made me say, "Ok, for my $75, I now know I don't want to be hacked into, no franken-body for me, I'm perfectly fine the way I am. Hmpf." Rather, I left thinking, "how soon can I schedule this??" So let me connect the dots for you.
I went to see the sort of higher-end nip/tuck-like doc over in white-upper-class-bellevue, Dr. Sepehr Egrari. The pretty girl at the front desk greeted me with warmth and friendliness. I went to his office, sat on the couch. He came in and we had some smalltalk...etc. Then we got down to it - I told him I was thinking tummy-tuck-boob-job. I told him a size 8 or so was fine, I had no illusions about ever being a 2 or 4, nor was I really comfortable with that. He said, "good, I get a lot of people with unrealistic expectations." He is a fan of the LBL (Lower Body Lift) and said that a breast lift wouldn't require impants (which I didn't want) - and yeah, at my "small size" he could likely do both together. "Let's go examine you," he said.
Melissa, the also-gorgeous nurse, dressed to the nines in full make-up, explained the little outfit to me. Paper stick-on panties, and a glorified paper tube top. He came in and took the tube top off - and gasped. I thought, "Am I that horrific? I mean, I know it's not pretty...but dude, that's what I'm here for, no??" Melissa chimed in with a little gasp of her own, nodding at the doc.
He said, "Oh, my, you have a very unique body."
Um, this is not sounding good...please go on, I thought.
"You have a gorgeous natural curvy waist - this is excellent! You cannot buy a shape like this." Melissa agreed with vigor. "You will have an amazing outcome." He was visibly excited. He went on to convince me of the full-on LBL, which I'd been quite opposed to prior to this visit. He hiked up skin here and there and showed me what I will look like. Or helped me visualize at a minimum. I'll likely lose my tattoo (low back), or part of it (ug?). I'll have a wrap-around scar from above the pubic bone, up at an angle like a g-string/bikini, and then around the back just above "the crack of the bottom." Eek. Being bi-sected is about as appealing and poking out my eyes...but, having 10 pounds of skin sagging off me isn't so hot either.
He went on to tell me exactly how many milimeters too low my boobs are currently (that's a great moment, btw) and that I'd still be a big C, small D when he was done with'em. I used to think I wanted to be small - but now I realize I'm kinda attached actually, so I'm glad to keep'em around. And that I wouldn't have to wear a bra if I didn't want to (something I haven't done since 4th grade maybe?). Scars here will be around the nipple, down the center (from the nipple down) and a c-shaped one underneath at the crease. Not excited about franken-body or franken-boobies either.
I got dressed and Melissa gave me a tour. She is genuine to the Nth degree, but the whole office kinda had that secret feeling of "come on, jenn, be one of us. the beautiful people. just do it..." The OR looked oh-so-Nip/Tuck it was freakish. "Your procedure will be about 8 hours; then we let you wake up and require you to walk to your car when you're ready to head home, about 3-4 hours later." Yikes. "We wash your hair before you go, since you can't shower for 4-days with the drains and pain pump. We want you to feel good!" Pain pump? High-five for that sucker. Compression garments. Drains. Ew...then it was time for the dreaded "before" photos, for which I stripped down to my pretty-paper-panties and the doc snapped 8 shots of me, and complimented me on my ability to follow directions (I'd apparently done a good job of turning as I'd been instructed).
Overall they poo-poo'd all the pain and suffering, focusing on results. How sales-pitchy, but ultimately true. That said, the recovery sounds abyssmal; but, it's a few weeks of yick for a lifetime of goodness. I get that.
Next up was Karen who kindly printed three quotes up for me: LBL alone, Breast lift alone...and then the big enchilada combining both. Our price tag? $19K. Ug, but I knew it, planned for it, and it's doable - but holy hannah, both surgeries add up to a whopping $36K (lap-band+plastics)- getting skinny ain't cheap, and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.
All I need to do is plunk down $500 for a date. I'm at 180ish right now, he said to drop 10 more before surgery (170), and he'd be lobbing off around 9-12 (160) and that most people lose 5-7 after surgery due to not wanting to eat (150-155). That said, my goal is to drop 20 before, getting me under 150 once I'm done. He said I could go on, too, and lose 10-20 afterwards without messing up the gig. Or, he said "It'd be fine to do this for your tonight really..." um, no.
My big question is this: "If I lose 30 pounds more and get to 150, will I still need the LBL or can I get away with a TT?" I will ask. I'm guessing either way it's good - my back side could use a little pick-me-up I suppose - and the TT alone isn't really that much cheaper, though, I'm more bummed about the bi-section than the money. Really. More importantly though, I wonder "Can they fatten up my tush so I actually have an ass???" I suppose that will cost extra.
So today was my plastic surgeon consult. And boy, do they make you want it.
I went in figuring this would be the appointment that made me say, "Ok, for my $75, I now know I don't want to be hacked into, no franken-body for me, I'm perfectly fine the way I am. Hmpf." Rather, I left thinking, "how soon can I schedule this??" So let me connect the dots for you.
I went to see the sort of higher-end nip/tuck-like doc over in white-upper-class-bellevue, Dr. Sepehr Egrari. The pretty girl at the front desk greeted me with warmth and friendliness. I went to his office, sat on the couch. He came in and we had some smalltalk...etc. Then we got down to it - I told him I was thinking tummy-tuck-boob-job. I told him a size 8 or so was fine, I had no illusions about ever being a 2 or 4, nor was I really comfortable with that. He said, "good, I get a lot of people with unrealistic expectations." He is a fan of the LBL (Lower Body Lift) and said that a breast lift wouldn't require impants (which I didn't want) - and yeah, at my "small size" he could likely do both together. "Let's go examine you," he said.
Melissa, the also-gorgeous nurse, dressed to the nines in full make-up, explained the little outfit to me. Paper stick-on panties, and a glorified paper tube top. He came in and took the tube top off - and gasped. I thought, "Am I that horrific? I mean, I know it's not pretty...but dude, that's what I'm here for, no??" Melissa chimed in with a little gasp of her own, nodding at the doc.
He said, "Oh, my, you have a very unique body."
Um, this is not sounding good...please go on, I thought.
"You have a gorgeous natural curvy waist - this is excellent! You cannot buy a shape like this." Melissa agreed with vigor. "You will have an amazing outcome." He was visibly excited. He went on to convince me of the full-on LBL, which I'd been quite opposed to prior to this visit. He hiked up skin here and there and showed me what I will look like. Or helped me visualize at a minimum. I'll likely lose my tattoo (low back), or part of it (ug?). I'll have a wrap-around scar from above the pubic bone, up at an angle like a g-string/bikini, and then around the back just above "the crack of the bottom." Eek. Being bi-sected is about as appealing and poking out my eyes...but, having 10 pounds of skin sagging off me isn't so hot either.
He went on to tell me exactly how many milimeters too low my boobs are currently (that's a great moment, btw) and that I'd still be a big C, small D when he was done with'em. I used to think I wanted to be small - but now I realize I'm kinda attached actually, so I'm glad to keep'em around. And that I wouldn't have to wear a bra if I didn't want to (something I haven't done since 4th grade maybe?). Scars here will be around the nipple, down the center (from the nipple down) and a c-shaped one underneath at the crease. Not excited about franken-body or franken-boobies either.
I got dressed and Melissa gave me a tour. She is genuine to the Nth degree, but the whole office kinda had that secret feeling of "come on, jenn, be one of us. the beautiful people. just do it..." The OR looked oh-so-Nip/Tuck it was freakish. "Your procedure will be about 8 hours; then we let you wake up and require you to walk to your car when you're ready to head home, about 3-4 hours later." Yikes. "We wash your hair before you go, since you can't shower for 4-days with the drains and pain pump. We want you to feel good!" Pain pump? High-five for that sucker. Compression garments. Drains. Ew...then it was time for the dreaded "before" photos, for which I stripped down to my pretty-paper-panties and the doc snapped 8 shots of me, and complimented me on my ability to follow directions (I'd apparently done a good job of turning as I'd been instructed).
Overall they poo-poo'd all the pain and suffering, focusing on results. How sales-pitchy, but ultimately true. That said, the recovery sounds abyssmal; but, it's a few weeks of yick for a lifetime of goodness. I get that.
Next up was Karen who kindly printed three quotes up for me: LBL alone, Breast lift alone...and then the big enchilada combining both. Our price tag? $19K. Ug, but I knew it, planned for it, and it's doable - but holy hannah, both surgeries add up to a whopping $36K (lap-band+plastics)- getting skinny ain't cheap, and don't believe anyone who tells you otherwise.
All I need to do is plunk down $500 for a date. I'm at 180ish right now, he said to drop 10 more before surgery (170), and he'd be lobbing off around 9-12 (160) and that most people lose 5-7 after surgery due to not wanting to eat (150-155). That said, my goal is to drop 20 before, getting me under 150 once I'm done. He said I could go on, too, and lose 10-20 afterwards without messing up the gig. Or, he said "It'd be fine to do this for your tonight really..." um, no.
My big question is this: "If I lose 30 pounds more and get to 150, will I still need the LBL or can I get away with a TT?" I will ask. I'm guessing either way it's good - my back side could use a little pick-me-up I suppose - and the TT alone isn't really that much cheaper, though, I'm more bummed about the bi-section than the money. Really. More importantly though, I wonder "Can they fatten up my tush so I actually have an ass???" I suppose that will cost extra.
Tuesday, September 05, 2006
Run Run Run..Stuck Stuck Stuck
I ran around Greenlake in 35 minutes last week - 15 run, 5 walk, 15 run...and then last night, I ran a good 40-minutes straight up! No stops! And, my iPod even pooped out with 10 minutes to go and I didn't waiver. Hee-haw! It's getting there.
On the other hand, the scale is not working with me at the moment. Granted, I'm bloated. Oh, and I've had a rough few weeks as my mom was diagnosed with an (operable, benign) brain tumor which she had surgery to remove this past Saturday. Needless to say, eating right has not been a priority - though all told, in the realm of it all, I have done ok...but certainly not ok enough to drop any weight. Only 1 week to my 1-year mark...and sadly, I will not make it to 177 as I'd hoped. That said, I will in time - just not next week. Alas....the good news is I got through these past few stressful weeks alive, and mom is expected to make a 100% full recovery, and I didn't gain 10 pounds as I would have pre-banding. There's always an upside, no?
I ran around Greenlake in 35 minutes last week - 15 run, 5 walk, 15 run...and then last night, I ran a good 40-minutes straight up! No stops! And, my iPod even pooped out with 10 minutes to go and I didn't waiver. Hee-haw! It's getting there.
On the other hand, the scale is not working with me at the moment. Granted, I'm bloated. Oh, and I've had a rough few weeks as my mom was diagnosed with an (operable, benign) brain tumor which she had surgery to remove this past Saturday. Needless to say, eating right has not been a priority - though all told, in the realm of it all, I have done ok...but certainly not ok enough to drop any weight. Only 1 week to my 1-year mark...and sadly, I will not make it to 177 as I'd hoped. That said, I will in time - just not next week. Alas....the good news is I got through these past few stressful weeks alive, and mom is expected to make a 100% full recovery, and I didn't gain 10 pounds as I would have pre-banding. There's always an upside, no?
Thursday, August 17, 2006
Little Jenny Goes for a Run
So, I did it.
Last weekend, I got the shoes and the bra of steel.
Yesterday, I got the new Motor CD I was waiting for (if you at all like electronic/funk, and buy one album this year like that, this should be it). If you have iTunes, give it a listen. Fabulous workout beat.
So this morning, I went for a run.
Yep! A RUN. I went 27 minutes before my body said, "done" and I just stopped, walked a bit, and then ran the last 3 minutes home for a round 30 minutes of running, 20 of walking. I love running, and I'd forgotten how much - especially the part before it becomes hard :) The first 20 minutes were pure bliss! The last 7 I was really pushing. But that will change and improve in time. I'm not looking to bust out on the marathon course or anything, but 2 or 3 days a week, especially until I'm done losing - and then after more for stress and endophines - will do just fine.
Jenn is running. Holy crap. My scale shows me around 181. That's good too!! I can't wait until a 179.? shows up...I'd take a photo, but even though my camera is small, it will make the weight go up!
So, I did it.
Last weekend, I got the shoes and the bra of steel.
Yesterday, I got the new Motor CD I was waiting for (if you at all like electronic/funk, and buy one album this year like that, this should be it). If you have iTunes, give it a listen. Fabulous workout beat.
So this morning, I went for a run.
Yep! A RUN. I went 27 minutes before my body said, "done" and I just stopped, walked a bit, and then ran the last 3 minutes home for a round 30 minutes of running, 20 of walking. I love running, and I'd forgotten how much - especially the part before it becomes hard :) The first 20 minutes were pure bliss! The last 7 I was really pushing. But that will change and improve in time. I'm not looking to bust out on the marathon course or anything, but 2 or 3 days a week, especially until I'm done losing - and then after more for stress and endophines - will do just fine.
Jenn is running. Holy crap. My scale shows me around 181. That's good too!! I can't wait until a 179.? shows up...I'd take a photo, but even though my camera is small, it will make the weight go up!
Sunday, August 13, 2006
New Photos are up! Lucky!
Check them out here! It's hard for me to see big changes, but that is normal. I can tell when I look at myself in the mirror au'natural, and that's good enough for me.
Yesterday I went to Lucky jeans and bought me a pair! I was nervous they'd look at me and tell me I was too fat to even walk in the store, but my pal smb assured me "well, i see women your size leaving the store with bags of clothes..." so I thought, let's try. I spent an ungodly amount of money for one pair of jeans - but I heart them! And, I figure they'll be with me for another 10-15 pounds, which is 3 months+, and that is ok. Felt good to feel normal, no?
And, the best part, the flamboyant gay man helping me said, "oh, honey, I dropped 120 pounds about 3 years ago - I get it!" and we went on to have a huge conversation about the emotional weirdness of losing this kinda weight, and the concept of what I now call "the fat filter" - that is to say, the people who talk to you, date you, love you when you're gigantic comprise a small segment of society. Whereas, once you're 'normal' you find yourself being approached by the masses - and it's hard to discern who "your people" are, when before it was a given. Fascinating chat, lovely man for helping me feel comfy. And, well, super hot jeans...now if only I had the ass to really show them off, alas, all the weight loss in the world will not produce me a round bottom. Ah well....
Check them out here! It's hard for me to see big changes, but that is normal. I can tell when I look at myself in the mirror au'natural, and that's good enough for me.
Yesterday I went to Lucky jeans and bought me a pair! I was nervous they'd look at me and tell me I was too fat to even walk in the store, but my pal smb assured me "well, i see women your size leaving the store with bags of clothes..." so I thought, let's try. I spent an ungodly amount of money for one pair of jeans - but I heart them! And, I figure they'll be with me for another 10-15 pounds, which is 3 months+, and that is ok. Felt good to feel normal, no?
And, the best part, the flamboyant gay man helping me said, "oh, honey, I dropped 120 pounds about 3 years ago - I get it!" and we went on to have a huge conversation about the emotional weirdness of losing this kinda weight, and the concept of what I now call "the fat filter" - that is to say, the people who talk to you, date you, love you when you're gigantic comprise a small segment of society. Whereas, once you're 'normal' you find yourself being approached by the masses - and it's hard to discern who "your people" are, when before it was a given. Fascinating chat, lovely man for helping me feel comfy. And, well, super hot jeans...now if only I had the ass to really show them off, alas, all the weight loss in the world will not produce me a round bottom. Ah well....
Friday, August 11, 2006
11-Month Post-Op Report - down 79.1 pounds to 182.9
Well, miracles do happen. Heading up to my surgeon appointment today, I was gunning for a 4 pound loss - really, 1/week at this point is good, right? I mean, we shouldn't get greedy, right? So, plopping on the scale (ok, stepping, but what a boring verb!) I showed a nice 5.6 pound loss putting me at 79.1 total. Now, I had no idea would be so close to the big 8'Oh! or I'd have tried to pee once more. Alas, I'll take it. Just 27.9 to go which feels like nothing on one hand and eternal on the other. That said, right now I'm focused on my 1-year appointment September 12th. I have a number in my head - should I commit? Right here right now? Yeah - ok - here it is: 177.
This is why. I remember weighing a hefty 135 in 5th grade. Next I remember being 185+ in high school and ever since. Twice - once at 19 and once at 27 - I hit 178 for about 15 minutes. I've never seen, as far as I can recall, any number below 178 on a scale. Hence the 177 goal. I like 175 for it's round-number quality; so that's the stretch goal. We'll see - but I'm going to try to keep this high level of focus. It seems to help when I'm not seeing anyone, and my friends are really busy - i.e., no distractions or variations (re: excessive drinking) to the plan. That said, I am figuring there will be wrenches in the plan along the way, but somehow, though there were this time, I still got there!
Oh, btw, surgeon scale weighs me in at 2 pounds less than my home scale. (Mostly writing this for my own reference). And, regular-person yoga is going just great! It's a good challenge and is keeping my in touch with the 'ole bod - a good thing, as Martha might say.
I'll get some new pix up soon!
Well, miracles do happen. Heading up to my surgeon appointment today, I was gunning for a 4 pound loss - really, 1/week at this point is good, right? I mean, we shouldn't get greedy, right? So, plopping on the scale (ok, stepping, but what a boring verb!) I showed a nice 5.6 pound loss putting me at 79.1 total. Now, I had no idea would be so close to the big 8'Oh! or I'd have tried to pee once more. Alas, I'll take it. Just 27.9 to go which feels like nothing on one hand and eternal on the other. That said, right now I'm focused on my 1-year appointment September 12th. I have a number in my head - should I commit? Right here right now? Yeah - ok - here it is: 177.
This is why. I remember weighing a hefty 135 in 5th grade. Next I remember being 185+ in high school and ever since. Twice - once at 19 and once at 27 - I hit 178 for about 15 minutes. I've never seen, as far as I can recall, any number below 178 on a scale. Hence the 177 goal. I like 175 for it's round-number quality; so that's the stretch goal. We'll see - but I'm going to try to keep this high level of focus. It seems to help when I'm not seeing anyone, and my friends are really busy - i.e., no distractions or variations (re: excessive drinking) to the plan. That said, I am figuring there will be wrenches in the plan along the way, but somehow, though there were this time, I still got there!
Oh, btw, surgeon scale weighs me in at 2 pounds less than my home scale. (Mostly writing this for my own reference). And, regular-person yoga is going just great! It's a good challenge and is keeping my in touch with the 'ole bod - a good thing, as Martha might say.
I'll get some new pix up soon!
Tuesday, August 08, 2006
Hi. Remember me?
Where does Jenn keep going? If only she had the answer for you...
Seriously, it seems like I get all 'on track' and then something knocks me off and I'm trying to get back for weeks. It's lame, but it's life, and so while I try not to beat myself up too much, I also try to pay attention and not let this keep happening, or happening to the same extent.
Friday I have my 11-month appointment. I finally bought a scale and things are looking good. I plan to take it with me to his office and weigh on both to see what the discrepancy is, if any. Just good to have a gauge. After September, I can drive up and weigh in anytime - but no more "free" appointments, so it is unlikely I'll haul up to Edmonds (25+ minutes, a true expedition for a city girl who rarely drives more than 12 minutes anyplace ever) just to step on a scale. If I know how mine compares, I won't need to do that.
More to come!
Where does Jenn keep going? If only she had the answer for you...
Seriously, it seems like I get all 'on track' and then something knocks me off and I'm trying to get back for weeks. It's lame, but it's life, and so while I try not to beat myself up too much, I also try to pay attention and not let this keep happening, or happening to the same extent.
Friday I have my 11-month appointment. I finally bought a scale and things are looking good. I plan to take it with me to his office and weigh on both to see what the discrepancy is, if any. Just good to have a gauge. After September, I can drive up and weigh in anytime - but no more "free" appointments, so it is unlikely I'll haul up to Edmonds (25+ minutes, a true expedition for a city girl who rarely drives more than 12 minutes anyplace ever) just to step on a scale. If I know how mine compares, I won't need to do that.
More to come!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Friday, July 14, 2006
10 Months Out
Who can believe it - a year ago I was anxiously preparing for surgery, getting ready for my pre-op diet and having a myriad of "last suppers" (though I wasn't out of control, I did try to hit all of my favorites one last time). Today I went up to my surgeon's office to weigh in officially:
Wow! Who could be happier? Well, I'll admit to occasional 'bypass envy' as I know if I'd had the bypass, I'd be closer to my goal. BUT, I also know the lapband was the right choice for me and that I'm right on schedule for a good lil' bandster. With 8 weeks until my 1 year anniversary, I should be right where it seems most people are who have about 100 to lose: 80ish pounds down. That said, I have an inkling to sew my jaw shut for 8 weeks and hit my 100 pound mark...but I won't. Please! I know better.
It's exciting to be in the 180s - other than weighing 178 for about 15 minutes back in 1998, I honestly don't remember being any weight other that two-hundred-and-"x"... it's weird to be solidly in the "one hunderds" and even more exciting to be cookin' toward the end goal. I think once I've got 20ish to go, it will feel real. It's still a little "out there" for me at the moment - wearing regular clothes, looking like everyone else (i.e., not standing out as the fatso in the room), etc. So, I continue to digest (no pun intended) this insane amount of change to my body and soul. It's good though, don't get me wrong!
Hopefully I'll have more good news at my next 'anniversary' date! Pics will be posted soon - gotta get my sister to snap'em for me in the next couple days.
Who can believe it - a year ago I was anxiously preparing for surgery, getting ready for my pre-op diet and having a myriad of "last suppers" (though I wasn't out of control, I did try to hit all of my favorites one last time). Today I went up to my surgeon's office to weigh in officially:
Wow! Who could be happier? Well, I'll admit to occasional 'bypass envy' as I know if I'd had the bypass, I'd be closer to my goal. BUT, I also know the lapband was the right choice for me and that I'm right on schedule for a good lil' bandster. With 8 weeks until my 1 year anniversary, I should be right where it seems most people are who have about 100 to lose: 80ish pounds down. That said, I have an inkling to sew my jaw shut for 8 weeks and hit my 100 pound mark...but I won't. Please! I know better.
It's exciting to be in the 180s - other than weighing 178 for about 15 minutes back in 1998, I honestly don't remember being any weight other that two-hundred-and-"x"... it's weird to be solidly in the "one hunderds" and even more exciting to be cookin' toward the end goal. I think once I've got 20ish to go, it will feel real. It's still a little "out there" for me at the moment - wearing regular clothes, looking like everyone else (i.e., not standing out as the fatso in the room), etc. So, I continue to digest (no pun intended) this insane amount of change to my body and soul. It's good though, don't get me wrong!
Hopefully I'll have more good news at my next 'anniversary' date! Pics will be posted soon - gotta get my sister to snap'em for me in the next couple days.
Sunday, July 09, 2006
Hiking, for the love of pete...
Ok, so now I'm an official card-carrying lesbian who lives in the northwest....yes, today I went hiking. I met a girl a few weeks ago, who is cool, and we're hanging out a bit (oh-so-low-key-casual, don't get excited). Anyhow, today, the plan was to go on a hike. She planned it, and I just trusted I'd be able to do it. She picked perfectly - about a 3-hour "easy/moderate" hike to Heather Lake up north near Mt. Pilchuck. And I'm happy to report, I hiked away with really no physical strain, emotional panic or problems (I toppled twice, but that can happen in the midst of a normal day for me, really). Hot diggity! Though, now I'm feeling as if truck ran me over...it was good fun.
Here's the thing: I walk all the time. I love it. Hiking is walking, just in more interesting places and on more varied terrain. Sometimes intensely varied - but still, this isn't rocket science. I like it, but I think I've classically feared it due to the weight issue and not being able to 'perform' so to speak. But today, I had a great time, got a fab workout and had a lovely lunch sitting on a giant rock next to an alpine lake - this would not have happened 70+ pounds ago, nfw.
I heart my lap-band.
Ok, so now I'm an official card-carrying lesbian who lives in the northwest....yes, today I went hiking. I met a girl a few weeks ago, who is cool, and we're hanging out a bit (oh-so-low-key-casual, don't get excited). Anyhow, today, the plan was to go on a hike. She planned it, and I just trusted I'd be able to do it. She picked perfectly - about a 3-hour "easy/moderate" hike to Heather Lake up north near Mt. Pilchuck. And I'm happy to report, I hiked away with really no physical strain, emotional panic or problems (I toppled twice, but that can happen in the midst of a normal day for me, really). Hot diggity! Though, now I'm feeling as if truck ran me over...it was good fun.
Here's the thing: I walk all the time. I love it. Hiking is walking, just in more interesting places and on more varied terrain. Sometimes intensely varied - but still, this isn't rocket science. I like it, but I think I've classically feared it due to the weight issue and not being able to 'perform' so to speak. But today, I had a great time, got a fab workout and had a lovely lunch sitting on a giant rock next to an alpine lake - this would not have happened 70+ pounds ago, nfw.
I heart my lap-band.
Friday, July 07, 2006
No More Glucophage!
I meant to report, I went to my endocrinologist last week. He's kind of an older dude, a bit of a crumugeon, but a stand-up guy in his profession. I am happy to report a fasting blood sugar of 88!!!!!! In the past, I was typically at 108. He officially let me off glucophage - which, to be honest - I'd stopped taking after my surgery. I hated it. Shame on me though, for self-medicating (or not, in this case...).
Anyhow, Dr. No-Bedside-Manner stopped to put his hand on my shoulder, tell me congratulations and looked me in the eye and said, "you know, this is huge - what you've done for yourself here, most people don't or can't do. you are my patient of the day!" It was very sweet actually; I also took the opportunity to tell him that he was my inspiration. He once said, "Unless you lose 50 pounds, you will, without question, need to take insulin shots at some point." This terrified me into looking at surgery...so I thanked him for making a difference for me. And that was that! I see him again in 4 months for a check-up and for my thyroid (which, I am taking my drugs again, thank-you-very-muchly).
In other good news, I'm meeting most of my goals from my recent post. I did drink a bit over the holiday weekend that exceeded calories limits; however, no looking back! I'm back on track now - no alcohol since Monday, and none planned until Saturday night. It's my mom's 60th birthday and in a move somewhat oxymoronic for a bandster, my one sister and I are taking her to the Herbfarm Restaurant here in Seattle. It's quite famous, and offers a 9-course meal with paired wines. I plan to go nice and slow, eat no bread and sip the wine and know that I don't have to finish it all. Duh! The portions are teeny tiny, and the meal lasts 5 hours, so I can pace myself. I don't plan to eat much tomorrow prior to dinner though!
Exercise is on target and my yoga for round bodies class is good. I signed up for a (gawd help me) hip-hop dance class! We'll see how that goes, but man, I wanna dance like that! I'll need to come up with a system to bind my chest and my fat belly, but they sell garments for that. Hee-haw!
Hope everyone is doing well! :)
I meant to report, I went to my endocrinologist last week. He's kind of an older dude, a bit of a crumugeon, but a stand-up guy in his profession. I am happy to report a fasting blood sugar of 88!!!!!! In the past, I was typically at 108. He officially let me off glucophage - which, to be honest - I'd stopped taking after my surgery. I hated it. Shame on me though, for self-medicating (or not, in this case...).
Anyhow, Dr. No-Bedside-Manner stopped to put his hand on my shoulder, tell me congratulations and looked me in the eye and said, "you know, this is huge - what you've done for yourself here, most people don't or can't do. you are my patient of the day!" It was very sweet actually; I also took the opportunity to tell him that he was my inspiration. He once said, "Unless you lose 50 pounds, you will, without question, need to take insulin shots at some point." This terrified me into looking at surgery...so I thanked him for making a difference for me. And that was that! I see him again in 4 months for a check-up and for my thyroid (which, I am taking my drugs again, thank-you-very-muchly).
In other good news, I'm meeting most of my goals from my recent post. I did drink a bit over the holiday weekend that exceeded calories limits; however, no looking back! I'm back on track now - no alcohol since Monday, and none planned until Saturday night. It's my mom's 60th birthday and in a move somewhat oxymoronic for a bandster, my one sister and I are taking her to the Herbfarm Restaurant here in Seattle. It's quite famous, and offers a 9-course meal with paired wines. I plan to go nice and slow, eat no bread and sip the wine and know that I don't have to finish it all. Duh! The portions are teeny tiny, and the meal lasts 5 hours, so I can pace myself. I don't plan to eat much tomorrow prior to dinner though!
Exercise is on target and my yoga for round bodies class is good. I signed up for a (gawd help me) hip-hop dance class! We'll see how that goes, but man, I wanna dance like that! I'll need to come up with a system to bind my chest and my fat belly, but they sell garments for that. Hee-haw!
Hope everyone is doing well! :)
Friday, June 23, 2006
Boob Job Nightmare
So I had a dream that I had a boob job; they screwed it up and instead of making them smaller and perkier, they made them BIGGER - enlarging them into giant, honey dew melon-porn-star tits!
Oh, and one side was significantly bigger than the other, they were all dimpled and poorly shaped.
...and the best part? They put two nipples on one boob, and no nipple on the other. I awoke and said to the doctor, "Did you not notice this? Doesn't it look funny to you?!?!" Needless to say, I was happy to wake up and see all was well with my chest. Phew!
Hm. Now there's a subconscious manifestation of fear, no?
So I had a dream that I had a boob job; they screwed it up and instead of making them smaller and perkier, they made them BIGGER - enlarging them into giant, honey dew melon-porn-star tits!
Oh, and one side was significantly bigger than the other, they were all dimpled and poorly shaped.
...and the best part? They put two nipples on one boob, and no nipple on the other. I awoke and said to the doctor, "Did you not notice this? Doesn't it look funny to you?!?!" Needless to say, I was happy to wake up and see all was well with my chest. Phew!
Hm. Now there's a subconscious manifestation of fear, no?
Thursday, June 22, 2006
9 1/2 Month Surgeon Visit - Update!
Well, one happy Jenn hopped on the scale to learn I weighed 190.9 - down about 5 and a 1/2 pounds from last month! Very exciting! All told with pre-band weight loss, I'm at a total loss of 71 pounds at the 9.5 month mark. Somehow, passing the 70-pound mark feels seriously significant - similar to when I passed 40...I dunno, some of these milestones just feel bigger than others. Bonus: I am now merely overweight, no longer obese, with a BMI of 29.9!
I had the alternate surgeon today, who was very nice - but I'd never met him. I discussed my fill situation and we agreed to a teeny tiny unfill. I'm wicked paranoid to go too low - 1.8 was loose! So, I went back to 2.0 exactly (I was at 2.1). The unfill was relatively uneventful. We'll see how I do - but it has to be better. I'm tracking with fitday now, like religion, to snap myself back to center in terms of caloric intake, so it's just a matter of whether or not I'm starving all the time, etc. which I doubt.
Well, one happy Jenn hopped on the scale to learn I weighed 190.9 - down about 5 and a 1/2 pounds from last month! Very exciting! All told with pre-band weight loss, I'm at a total loss of 71 pounds at the 9.5 month mark. Somehow, passing the 70-pound mark feels seriously significant - similar to when I passed 40...I dunno, some of these milestones just feel bigger than others. Bonus: I am now merely overweight, no longer obese, with a BMI of 29.9!
I had the alternate surgeon today, who was very nice - but I'd never met him. I discussed my fill situation and we agreed to a teeny tiny unfill. I'm wicked paranoid to go too low - 1.8 was loose! So, I went back to 2.0 exactly (I was at 2.1). The unfill was relatively uneventful. We'll see how I do - but it has to be better. I'm tracking with fitday now, like religion, to snap myself back to center in terms of caloric intake, so it's just a matter of whether or not I'm starving all the time, etc. which I doubt.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Press the Reset Button, Jennifer.
Ok, I realized something: It is me.
Yep, I realized I was off the wagon, but I don't think I knew how far off the wagon I was...so, I hit the reset button this week and, with the help of my ever-faithful pal ck, I set some goals to help be get back in the game. Here they are, both for support to those of you who may be in the same boat, and for accountability:
1. Get back to 800 - 1200 calories/day.
So I did fitday.com for a few days, thought I was practically starving myself and found that I was indeed at the high end of my range...1200 calories! This is fine, but before, I was eating considerably more, meaning I was likely in a 1500-1800 range; fine for maintenance but I'm not there yet. Obviously.
2. No work out, no go out.
Back to this: No wine, drinks, etc. unless I've exercised, and then, only within my calorie range.
3. Exercise: 9 hours/week.
Six days of 1-hour walks + 3 days of 1-hour workouts at the gym, or a second walk, or whatever. 9 hours each week though, with only 1 day of rest.
4. Take the Meds.
I've been blowing off my thyroid medications which is ludicrous; plus stopped taking all insulin-resistance-related drugs after my surgery. Nice Jenn, self-medicate - great idea!...Sigh. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist next Tuesday. I'll be back to center then, but have gotten back on the thyroid wagon (all the sudden I'm tired and my skin is dry and my hair is growing slow...and and...)
5. Get the Band Adjusted Properly
I'm too tight. I sort of like it; but dumb! Hello - slippage, etc. are huge risks. So, off to the surgeon later today. Git'er done, girl.
6. Nutritionist Check-In
I'm not eating enough protein. I'm eating soft/liquids, too much of them. Probably drinking too much alcohol too - not in an alcoholic way, just in a calorie sense. No more sweet drinks - they taste too good, are too full of calories and too easy to have another. Martinis...savories. Only.
7. Post to the Blog!
You guys help keep me on my toes; when I'm posting, I'm working. When I'm not...well, I'm not...so, I'm back to posting daily or near-daily until I finish losing, or need another break.
8. Dissect the Emotions
Watch for an 'emo' post soon - I've been pulling the emotions apart, and trying to put myself back together in light of what I'm learning. I'm scared to be skinny - no doubt - but I'm ok to keep working toward it at this point and face the fear. More on this soon, but know it's a component.
9. Buy a Scale
Accountability. If I'm not working out at the gym, I have no sense of how I'm doing. It will help. I'm ordering one this week.
10. Sugar only Twice/Week
I was getting mochas. Eating the free evil chocolate at work. Ordering sweet drinks (lemon drops, margaritas)...I was getting addicted again. So I'm off sugar for 1 week - then, it's allowed 2x/week. Period.
I think that's it. I'll revise if I forgot anything. I feel better, and skinnier already, being back on track. Surgeon today - I'm not expecting to lose since I know I've had loads of liquid calories and travels since my last fill; but hopefully this adjustment will get me where I want to go!
Ok, I realized something: It is me.
Yep, I realized I was off the wagon, but I don't think I knew how far off the wagon I was...so, I hit the reset button this week and, with the help of my ever-faithful pal ck, I set some goals to help be get back in the game. Here they are, both for support to those of you who may be in the same boat, and for accountability:
1. Get back to 800 - 1200 calories/day.
So I did fitday.com for a few days, thought I was practically starving myself and found that I was indeed at the high end of my range...1200 calories! This is fine, but before, I was eating considerably more, meaning I was likely in a 1500-1800 range; fine for maintenance but I'm not there yet. Obviously.
2. No work out, no go out.
Back to this: No wine, drinks, etc. unless I've exercised, and then, only within my calorie range.
3. Exercise: 9 hours/week.
Six days of 1-hour walks + 3 days of 1-hour workouts at the gym, or a second walk, or whatever. 9 hours each week though, with only 1 day of rest.
4. Take the Meds.
I've been blowing off my thyroid medications which is ludicrous; plus stopped taking all insulin-resistance-related drugs after my surgery. Nice Jenn, self-medicate - great idea!...Sigh. I have an appointment with my Endocrinologist next Tuesday. I'll be back to center then, but have gotten back on the thyroid wagon (all the sudden I'm tired and my skin is dry and my hair is growing slow...and and...)
5. Get the Band Adjusted Properly
I'm too tight. I sort of like it; but dumb! Hello - slippage, etc. are huge risks. So, off to the surgeon later today. Git'er done, girl.
6. Nutritionist Check-In
I'm not eating enough protein. I'm eating soft/liquids, too much of them. Probably drinking too much alcohol too - not in an alcoholic way, just in a calorie sense. No more sweet drinks - they taste too good, are too full of calories and too easy to have another. Martinis...savories. Only.
7. Post to the Blog!
You guys help keep me on my toes; when I'm posting, I'm working. When I'm not...well, I'm not...so, I'm back to posting daily or near-daily until I finish losing, or need another break.
8. Dissect the Emotions
Watch for an 'emo' post soon - I've been pulling the emotions apart, and trying to put myself back together in light of what I'm learning. I'm scared to be skinny - no doubt - but I'm ok to keep working toward it at this point and face the fear. More on this soon, but know it's a component.
9. Buy a Scale
Accountability. If I'm not working out at the gym, I have no sense of how I'm doing. It will help. I'm ordering one this week.
10. Sugar only Twice/Week
I was getting mochas. Eating the free evil chocolate at work. Ordering sweet drinks (lemon drops, margaritas)...I was getting addicted again. So I'm off sugar for 1 week - then, it's allowed 2x/week. Period.
I think that's it. I'll revise if I forgot anything. I feel better, and skinnier already, being back on track. Surgeon today - I'm not expecting to lose since I know I've had loads of liquid calories and travels since my last fill; but hopefully this adjustment will get me where I want to go!
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Writing & Reading
As I've posted here before, I take writing classes at Bent - a writing school for queer folk where we can test out our writing in a safe space. I love it!
As most of you know, I wrote a piece about getting skinny - I read it at a queer spoken word event last month here in Seattle. Last week, my instructor asked me to read an abbreviated version of it at Seattle PrideFest this weekend! I was terrified - reading my piece in front of thousands of people - many of whom happen to fall into my dating pool! But I committed. I have it ready. Scary!
If you'd like to read it the full original version, email me (jennisagemini@yahoo.com) and I'll send it to you a PDF. I don't think I'm game to post the whole thing here and I may want to publish it someplace, and sometimes there are weird requirements around it being 'published' elsewhere.
As I've posted here before, I take writing classes at Bent - a writing school for queer folk where we can test out our writing in a safe space. I love it!
As most of you know, I wrote a piece about getting skinny - I read it at a queer spoken word event last month here in Seattle. Last week, my instructor asked me to read an abbreviated version of it at Seattle PrideFest this weekend! I was terrified - reading my piece in front of thousands of people - many of whom happen to fall into my dating pool! But I committed. I have it ready. Scary!
If you'd like to read it the full original version, email me (jennisagemini@yahoo.com) and I'll send it to you a PDF. I don't think I'm game to post the whole thing here and I may want to publish it someplace, and sometimes there are weird requirements around it being 'published' elsewhere.
Monday, June 19, 2006
PB Tips!
I put a post on the lapband messageboard on Obesity Help detailing my tips on how to handle the dreaded "productive burp." I'm not posting it here because really, only bandsters need to know this and care, and well, it's a little gross. So, those bandsters who are interested, you know where to go to find it! Posted at 10:50 a.m. PST on June 19th. Enjoy - comments here or there (OH) are welcome, or added input!
I put a post on the lapband messageboard on Obesity Help detailing my tips on how to handle the dreaded "productive burp." I'm not posting it here because really, only bandsters need to know this and care, and well, it's a little gross. So, those bandsters who are interested, you know where to go to find it! Posted at 10:50 a.m. PST on June 19th. Enjoy - comments here or there (OH) are welcome, or added input!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Ok, you tell me....
I'm going to do it. Buy a scale. That's right. A scale. In my home...
So tell me, what one do you have? Do you love it? What are the "must have" features in your opinion? Send me a link too. Cost is no matter - I just want a good one.
Why? Well, I don't fear becoming a scale addict at this point; the scale at my gym is not well calibrated (when I was over 200 lbs, it weighed me 2-3 pounds lighter than my doctor's office; now that I'm under 200 pounds, it's weighing me 2-3 pounds heavier than my doctor's office...).
Thank you in advance!!
I'm going to do it. Buy a scale. That's right. A scale. In my home...
So tell me, what one do you have? Do you love it? What are the "must have" features in your opinion? Send me a link too. Cost is no matter - I just want a good one.
Why? Well, I don't fear becoming a scale addict at this point; the scale at my gym is not well calibrated (when I was over 200 lbs, it weighed me 2-3 pounds lighter than my doctor's office; now that I'm under 200 pounds, it's weighing me 2-3 pounds heavier than my doctor's office...).
Thank you in advance!!
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