Uncle!!
Ok, note to self (and to lap-banders everywhere!): Do not get an aggressive fill before traveling. Especially internationally. Where they eat lots of rice. But really, not at all.
I have not been having a lot of fun since my last fill. I have an appointment on 6/23 where I plan to go back to 2.0cc’s from the 2.1 I have now. Here’s why: I am having a little PB festival every time I eat. I even PB’d water while I was in Manila – it was first thing in the morning and I awoke parched and slammed a ½ a bottle of water. Ok, so maybe it was my fault…but water? Really?? Further, it seems that the only meat that is friendly to me right now is fish – and even that, I have to be sooooo careful. And you all know what this leads to…
Soft foods. So I’ve been eating cheese. Which is fine, I always do – but I worry I’m eating too much. And in Manila, I actually drank frappacinos – yes – a glass of calories really – almost *daily*. Good lord! I do not do that!!! I certainly will have desserts, but in a calculated way, not in a daily downing of a giant, glorified milkshake! In New York, I failed to get through Chinese food, barely made it through Indian and well, nachos (one of my mainstays) both times were not seamless. Thankfully, my birthday dinner was ok: 1 oz Manchego cheese; about 8 mussels; 4-5 of the crispiest potato rounds I could find in the batch; and later in the evening, shared creamy dessert (cheesecake, mousse cake) with a hot cappuccino to get it down smoothly (all went well – happy birthday to me!).
While I love fish, I worry about gaining weight in this panicked mindset – because what actually happens is that you eat this insanely small amount, get a little stuck, and then a little later – 30 – 60 minutes maybe – it goes “clunk” and works through the band. Then you’re starving. So you eat crap to not be hungry. All signs, and obvious ones, of being too tight. That said, I did want to give it the college try and also allow the fill to settle in. I know too many people who panicked a week after a fill and regretted it later. I just wanted to be sure.
And, well folks, I am. That said, I do think I’m dropping weight – haven’t weighed myself in a while, though the scale in Manila put me at exactly what I weighed last time I was at the surgeon’s office. And certainly, if I don’t lose, though it feels like reverse psychology – the best thing to do is loosen up. If I do lose, it becomes a tougher choice, no? I mean, if I’m losing, and that’s my primary goal *for the moment*, maybe I’ll just eat fish for a while? We’ll see.
But don’t do this. If you have a lap-band, reschedule that fill for after big foreign/domestic celebratory travels. Trust me!
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Sunday, June 11, 2006
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Yo, Mama'z Tight
Whoa. This fill is wicked tight...and I'm not sure if it's "too tight" or if I just need to re-adjust to having it this way. If I eat insanely slow, I can get in enough food...but I fear "soft food syndrome" a little and have found myself going to soft/liquid foods just to get enough calories in to think. BUT, that said, I'm groovin' on losing weight again and knowing that it's happening! I don't own a scale, so I don't know exactly what's happening, but I can feel it...and you who have a band or bypass know "that feeling"...the "i'm getting skinny" feeling.
So, I've decided to stick with my fill and go with it. I will never starve; I still have 40+ excess pounds hanging off my body that can be accessed anytime to avoid certain death from starvation :) I did PB a little water yesterday after eating a small spoonful of cookie dough (I know, for shame) - but it just shows that it's working. What's true is often it's not "real" hunger, but rather "head hunger" in that I feel I should eat or be eating more, but really, I'm not hungry. So, I just need to adjust myself to what is essentially a brand-new lapband...which is how it is people: Every fill is like going back to the first one. I swear it.
I'm traveling now effectively for the next three weeks. I am home for a day here and there, but off to Manila, then NYC, then Portland. I'm home for good on June 17 and my next appointment is the following Tuesday, June 20. So we'll see how I do! I'll be posting a bit between now and then...first up: Manila! Home of fried and overly sweet foods.... (yes, I've got Luna bars for days...)
Whoa. This fill is wicked tight...and I'm not sure if it's "too tight" or if I just need to re-adjust to having it this way. If I eat insanely slow, I can get in enough food...but I fear "soft food syndrome" a little and have found myself going to soft/liquid foods just to get enough calories in to think. BUT, that said, I'm groovin' on losing weight again and knowing that it's happening! I don't own a scale, so I don't know exactly what's happening, but I can feel it...and you who have a band or bypass know "that feeling"...the "i'm getting skinny" feeling.
So, I've decided to stick with my fill and go with it. I will never starve; I still have 40+ excess pounds hanging off my body that can be accessed anytime to avoid certain death from starvation :) I did PB a little water yesterday after eating a small spoonful of cookie dough (I know, for shame) - but it just shows that it's working. What's true is often it's not "real" hunger, but rather "head hunger" in that I feel I should eat or be eating more, but really, I'm not hungry. So, I just need to adjust myself to what is essentially a brand-new lapband...which is how it is people: Every fill is like going back to the first one. I swear it.
I'm traveling now effectively for the next three weeks. I am home for a day here and there, but off to Manila, then NYC, then Portland. I'm home for good on June 17 and my next appointment is the following Tuesday, June 20. So we'll see how I do! I'll be posting a bit between now and then...first up: Manila! Home of fried and overly sweet foods.... (yes, I've got Luna bars for days...)
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Comparison
My "real" photos are on my other site, but I was reviewing some old posts in order to write up some of my lapband experience for my nutritionist, who is writing a book on lapband nutrition. I found this photo, and thought it would be fun to share it in comparison to a goofy photo I shot of myself yesterday. Please excuse the bowling shoes; normally I'd have boots on with a chunky heel.
Holy crap. Perhaps I just need a little self-validation, but damn if this won't do the trick!
My "real" photos are on my other site, but I was reviewing some old posts in order to write up some of my lapband experience for my nutritionist, who is writing a book on lapband nutrition. I found this photo, and thought it would be fun to share it in comparison to a goofy photo I shot of myself yesterday. Please excuse the bowling shoes; normally I'd have boots on with a chunky heel.
Holy crap. Perhaps I just need a little self-validation, but damn if this won't do the trick!
Saturday, May 27, 2006
A pound is a pound!
Sorry it's taken me a couple days to post. My surgeon appointment on Tuesday actually went quite well - to my surprise, I lost a pound. Yep, just one. And while in some ways that should be devastating - we are talking a month here - it wasn't *at all*. I was delighted not to gain really.
So, I was going to wait to get a fill until after my work trip next week (to Manila, in the Philippines), followed by a weekend in NYC to celebrate my 35th birthday...oh yeah, and then a couple days in Portland, OR for work...so I'm basically traveling from May 31 - June 18. BUT, then I thought, "did'ja drop $18K to stay fat then?" and my answer was a big, fat NO. So, when my doc came in I said, "we need to do a fill" and he looked and my chart, busted out the needle festival required for a fill and went to it.
Turns out I'd 'evaporated' about .2 cc's, so I was at 1.8 cc's. Seeing how I've lost about 19 pounds since that last fill, we opted for a 2.1cc total fill - .2 to get me back to where I was, and an additional .1 to compensate for the stomach shrinkage that likely occurred due to my weight loss. And now, a few days later, let me tell you: I am tight. It's kinda good though to come back to center; for example, on Thursday I had folks over for dinner. I ate:
- some cheese with a couple olives
- 5 or 6 small mussels
- 1 good-sized scallop (1.5 oz.), and a spoonful of califlower puree
- a few bites of key lime pie
- a few pieces of chocolate
Not a banner healthy meal, but my point is the quantity. I was able to eat considerably more pre-fill. The fun right now is that post-fill "i know i'm losing weight" feeling. Now that I'm exercising outdoors mostly, I realize I need to finally break down and buy a scale. I've always been anti-scale, but I do think it will keep me on my toes...
The last thing I want to share is a little epiphany I had. So, I've been slow to understand why my weight loss has slowed. Granted, user error has had an impact - a little too much going out, a little sugar here and there, and since I wasn't filled properly, I have had occasional hunger and eaten in response to it at 'non-meal times.' Ok, so there. That makes sense.
But here's the thing mentally I put together: My surgeon had told me to start talking with the plastic surgeon when I got to 180. When I broke 200, I basically stalled out...and I think part of why is that I am still utterly terrified at the notion of getting plastics, of having that kind of intense surgery, of being franken-body afterwards with scars from here to Canada... so as I started to think I was getting "too close" to 180, I think I had a mental block. If I think too much about it, I start to have a little panic attack...or cry...
So it dawned on my that the Plastic Surgery Police aren't beating down my door with a billy club. I don't have to have plastics at 180, 150, or ever for that matter. And this is exactly how it was for me about the lap-band; for a long time, I'd think of it and it would make me anxious/cry and I'd just think, "i'm not ready"... so in terms of plastics: I'm not ready. I don't have to be, but I do have to finish losing my weight. So I feel like I uncorked myself and am raring to go now! It's just funny the things that scare us, and how they impact so much.
Sorry it's taken me a couple days to post. My surgeon appointment on Tuesday actually went quite well - to my surprise, I lost a pound. Yep, just one. And while in some ways that should be devastating - we are talking a month here - it wasn't *at all*. I was delighted not to gain really.
So, I was going to wait to get a fill until after my work trip next week (to Manila, in the Philippines), followed by a weekend in NYC to celebrate my 35th birthday...oh yeah, and then a couple days in Portland, OR for work...so I'm basically traveling from May 31 - June 18. BUT, then I thought, "did'ja drop $18K to stay fat then?" and my answer was a big, fat NO. So, when my doc came in I said, "we need to do a fill" and he looked and my chart, busted out the needle festival required for a fill and went to it.
Turns out I'd 'evaporated' about .2 cc's, so I was at 1.8 cc's. Seeing how I've lost about 19 pounds since that last fill, we opted for a 2.1cc total fill - .2 to get me back to where I was, and an additional .1 to compensate for the stomach shrinkage that likely occurred due to my weight loss. And now, a few days later, let me tell you: I am tight. It's kinda good though to come back to center; for example, on Thursday I had folks over for dinner. I ate:
- some cheese with a couple olives
- 5 or 6 small mussels
- 1 good-sized scallop (1.5 oz.), and a spoonful of califlower puree
- a few bites of key lime pie
- a few pieces of chocolate
Not a banner healthy meal, but my point is the quantity. I was able to eat considerably more pre-fill. The fun right now is that post-fill "i know i'm losing weight" feeling. Now that I'm exercising outdoors mostly, I realize I need to finally break down and buy a scale. I've always been anti-scale, but I do think it will keep me on my toes...
The last thing I want to share is a little epiphany I had. So, I've been slow to understand why my weight loss has slowed. Granted, user error has had an impact - a little too much going out, a little sugar here and there, and since I wasn't filled properly, I have had occasional hunger and eaten in response to it at 'non-meal times.' Ok, so there. That makes sense.
But here's the thing mentally I put together: My surgeon had told me to start talking with the plastic surgeon when I got to 180. When I broke 200, I basically stalled out...and I think part of why is that I am still utterly terrified at the notion of getting plastics, of having that kind of intense surgery, of being franken-body afterwards with scars from here to Canada... so as I started to think I was getting "too close" to 180, I think I had a mental block. If I think too much about it, I start to have a little panic attack...or cry...
So it dawned on my that the Plastic Surgery Police aren't beating down my door with a billy club. I don't have to have plastics at 180, 150, or ever for that matter. And this is exactly how it was for me about the lap-band; for a long time, I'd think of it and it would make me anxious/cry and I'd just think, "i'm not ready"... so in terms of plastics: I'm not ready. I don't have to be, but I do have to finish losing my weight. So I feel like I uncorked myself and am raring to go now! It's just funny the things that scare us, and how they impact so much.
Monday, May 22, 2006
Surgeon Tomorrow
I fear my first gain! I just don't feel like I've been losing and it's all my fault...so perhaps tomorrow I'll get snapped back into shape when I go to my surgeon. I'll post some photos then too, but I gotta warn you, i don't feel like I look any different.
That said, my pal Anhl said I should post some of my naked photos, or at least a "decent" segment of me naked...so here are two "before & afters" of my legs. Still no model, but my god, what an improvement, no? The before shots even gross me out a little, so it's ok if they have the same effect on you. Cellulite...ewwwww....
More tomorrow after my 8-month appointment! Yikes!
I fear my first gain! I just don't feel like I've been losing and it's all my fault...so perhaps tomorrow I'll get snapped back into shape when I go to my surgeon. I'll post some photos then too, but I gotta warn you, i don't feel like I look any different.
That said, my pal Anhl said I should post some of my naked photos, or at least a "decent" segment of me naked...so here are two "before & afters" of my legs. Still no model, but my god, what an improvement, no? The before shots even gross me out a little, so it's ok if they have the same effect on you. Cellulite...ewwwww....
More tomorrow after my 8-month appointment! Yikes!
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Before & After
Here is my lunch yesterday in Les Beax, France before I ate...and after. I ate the tuna off the top of the salad, an olive, the mozzerlla and a slice of tomato, and a few bites of the veggie tart. I am still stunned sometimes - before my band, I'd have put the whole thing away + bread! I love this thing!!!
Here is my lunch yesterday in Les Beax, France before I ate...and after. I ate the tuna off the top of the salad, an olive, the mozzerlla and a slice of tomato, and a few bites of the veggie tart. I am still stunned sometimes - before my band, I'd have put the whole thing away + bread! I love this thing!!!
The Traveling Skinny
A few observations that aren't necessarily food-related...but, I gotta say, it is awesome to be in shape when traveling! Yesterday, we went to the Pont du Gard near Avignon; it's an 18-story high ancient Roman aquaduct. I climbed to the top on BOTH SIDES of the river without hesitation, and that was after going to another hikable site earlier in the day. Getting to the hotel, I found I had to then carry my bags up three flights of winding stairs...no problem, in fact, I went back to help Amy with her bags :)
Fact is, weighing less and being in shape simply makes life better. There is no question! You don't fear flights of stairs or hills, there's no anxiety when you forget something in your 3rd floor hotel room and in general, one can just 'keep up with the tour' so to speak. It's awesome and is helping to get me psyched for what I'm calling 'weight loss: round 2' when I get home - I am anxious to re-focus and reach my goal weight before (or around) the 1-year mark (Sept. 12). I have about 45ish to go, and I know with some serious focus and hard work, I'll get there (or tres close to it). Reaping the rewards sure does inspire!
Hope everyone is well!
A few observations that aren't necessarily food-related...but, I gotta say, it is awesome to be in shape when traveling! Yesterday, we went to the Pont du Gard near Avignon; it's an 18-story high ancient Roman aquaduct. I climbed to the top on BOTH SIDES of the river without hesitation, and that was after going to another hikable site earlier in the day. Getting to the hotel, I found I had to then carry my bags up three flights of winding stairs...no problem, in fact, I went back to help Amy with her bags :)
Fact is, weighing less and being in shape simply makes life better. There is no question! You don't fear flights of stairs or hills, there's no anxiety when you forget something in your 3rd floor hotel room and in general, one can just 'keep up with the tour' so to speak. It's awesome and is helping to get me psyched for what I'm calling 'weight loss: round 2' when I get home - I am anxious to re-focus and reach my goal weight before (or around) the 1-year mark (Sept. 12). I have about 45ish to go, and I know with some serious focus and hard work, I'll get there (or tres close to it). Reaping the rewards sure does inspire!
Hope everyone is well!
Thursday, April 06, 2006
Travelin' Band
Ok, sorry it's taken me a while to post - you can read about my trip on my other blog. Here, I'm going to post about living with the lapband abroad, or at least my experiences so far...
First, on the flight over, I have to say I used to think airplane portions were skimpy! Not any more - my 3 oz. of surprisingly tender roast beef, 1/3 c. potato terraine and 1/3 c. green beans added up to the perfect 1 cup of food. For breakfast, they brought us a ham & cheese croissant, I just ate the ham & cheese, along with the 1/2 c. yogurt and was good to go!
Once in London, I admit I was loving my band if for no other reason than the exchange rate! Holy mackeral - the prices there look similar to those in Seattle, however, due to the crappy exchange rate, you basically have to double the price of anything...ouch! Food rundown:
- So, night #1 my friend Amy and I went to Indian food - I got a 'side dish' portion of Mutter Paneer (cheese, peas and sauce) and basically just ate that with a bite or two of Amy's rice. It was about 1 c. and stayed with me pretty well.
- Breakfast at the hotel was a soft cooked egg and about 1-2 oz. ham-like 'bacon' (more ham to me than bacon). I still struggle with eggs, but knew the protein was a good thing. I think I also downed a 1/2 piece of wheat toast.
- For lunch, I ate 1/2 a panini with veggies & cheese for lunch one day - it took forever to do - but it went down ok.
- That night for dinner I got fish'n'chips - I was seriously tight, not sure why - so I ate just a few bites of each, thought a PB was coming on but it passed (amen) - and then (for shame) at some ice cream...I just knew I'd be starved later if I didn't...
Then came the fun. I got this gastric bug going around London...let's just say I think I lost about 8 pounds (I'm guessing). (Gross information alert, skip to next paragraph if you're squimish) I was terrified I was going to vomit, as the distress was well, on the other end - and then basically I dry heaved but nothing came up. I was rather terrified since vomiting can cause slippage, etc. but since I got over it, it seems I'm normally restricted. Phew! Still, totally scary.
Once I was eating again I wasn't eating much...I had a bit of a parmesan tart for dinner with some veggies last night, and today being a travel day (and now Amy being sick), I admit I ate like crap today. One egg and about an ounce of ham-bacon; a yogurt parfait (3/4 c. total); a small Paris-size slice of pizza loaded with veggies...and a couple snacks I'm not willing to admit to ;) (I am on vacation people!)...
But, the long and short of it is that travel seems doable! I am thinking of getting a small fill, but obviously wanted to wait until I was back from my trip to go through that adjustment. For now though, I can eat a little of just about anything...the only pisser in London was tossing food out that I couldn't finish - if only for the money! At home I can take the leftovers or I bring along a friend/human garbage disposal to take care of my extras, so I rarely feel wasteful...but if that is the biggest problem I have, I'm doing well! ;)
Hope everyone is well!!! Take a look at some of the pics on my other blog - I still sometimes am shocked at what I look like!
p.s. My hotel towel fits all the way around me, I can tuck it in and actually move around and still be 'decent' - how about that!?!
Ok, sorry it's taken me a while to post - you can read about my trip on my other blog. Here, I'm going to post about living with the lapband abroad, or at least my experiences so far...
First, on the flight over, I have to say I used to think airplane portions were skimpy! Not any more - my 3 oz. of surprisingly tender roast beef, 1/3 c. potato terraine and 1/3 c. green beans added up to the perfect 1 cup of food. For breakfast, they brought us a ham & cheese croissant, I just ate the ham & cheese, along with the 1/2 c. yogurt and was good to go!
Once in London, I admit I was loving my band if for no other reason than the exchange rate! Holy mackeral - the prices there look similar to those in Seattle, however, due to the crappy exchange rate, you basically have to double the price of anything...ouch! Food rundown:
- So, night #1 my friend Amy and I went to Indian food - I got a 'side dish' portion of Mutter Paneer (cheese, peas and sauce) and basically just ate that with a bite or two of Amy's rice. It was about 1 c. and stayed with me pretty well.
- Breakfast at the hotel was a soft cooked egg and about 1-2 oz. ham-like 'bacon' (more ham to me than bacon). I still struggle with eggs, but knew the protein was a good thing. I think I also downed a 1/2 piece of wheat toast.
- For lunch, I ate 1/2 a panini with veggies & cheese for lunch one day - it took forever to do - but it went down ok.
- That night for dinner I got fish'n'chips - I was seriously tight, not sure why - so I ate just a few bites of each, thought a PB was coming on but it passed (amen) - and then (for shame) at some ice cream...I just knew I'd be starved later if I didn't...
Then came the fun. I got this gastric bug going around London...let's just say I think I lost about 8 pounds (I'm guessing). (Gross information alert, skip to next paragraph if you're squimish) I was terrified I was going to vomit, as the distress was well, on the other end - and then basically I dry heaved but nothing came up. I was rather terrified since vomiting can cause slippage, etc. but since I got over it, it seems I'm normally restricted. Phew! Still, totally scary.
Once I was eating again I wasn't eating much...I had a bit of a parmesan tart for dinner with some veggies last night, and today being a travel day (and now Amy being sick), I admit I ate like crap today. One egg and about an ounce of ham-bacon; a yogurt parfait (3/4 c. total); a small Paris-size slice of pizza loaded with veggies...and a couple snacks I'm not willing to admit to ;) (I am on vacation people!)...
But, the long and short of it is that travel seems doable! I am thinking of getting a small fill, but obviously wanted to wait until I was back from my trip to go through that adjustment. For now though, I can eat a little of just about anything...the only pisser in London was tossing food out that I couldn't finish - if only for the money! At home I can take the leftovers or I bring along a friend/human garbage disposal to take care of my extras, so I rarely feel wasteful...but if that is the biggest problem I have, I'm doing well! ;)
Hope everyone is well!!! Take a look at some of the pics on my other blog - I still sometimes am shocked at what I look like!
p.s. My hotel towel fits all the way around me, I can tuck it in and actually move around and still be 'decent' - how about that!?!
Monday, March 27, 2006
Quick Update
Hi all! Just a quick note to say hello. I really have not vaporized (just yet ;)
My weight is about the same, though I do seem to be shifting. I bought a Size 14 pair of jeans yesterday! (Granted, the khaki's I got were 16...lighter color, less forgiving). Holy crap though- and I also got a slew of Size L shirts. This is still shocking to me.
I'm off to Europe on Saturday and looking forward to it. Got a bunch of last minute things this weekend and still have the really, really last minute things to go. I wish I had been able to get it together to lob off the 15 pounds I'd hoped to if only to be able to shop and buy cool clothes whilst across the pond; however, I suppose still requiring larger sizes (for the most part) will protect my wallet a bit. (Though, handbags, shoes and jewerly aren't specific to skinny people...which is problematic for the checking account).
Otherwise, I'm eating ok - having PMS tightness as expected this month, resulting in about 5 days straight of minor to major PBs. Sucks, but it was expected...and it'll be over with soon enough. Exercise is good too - walking 50-60 minutes each morning, and sometimes an added hours around the lake in the afternoon! I've been seeing my trainer 1x/week but haven't really been doing it otherwise. Post-Europe, I want to keep walking a few days/week and then work in gym days 2-4x/week that will involve both cardio and lifting. And of course, Danskin is coming! I will be starting to bike and swim as well upon my return. Ug!
That's the quickie update - sorry for continually disappearing. A lot going on otherwise which I just don't have the energy or need to really go into here. Know that I'm focusing on myself and while at times I feel really, really bad - at others, I feel like my life is going in the right direction and I'm crazily happy and content. So the plan for now is to just carry on!
Hi all! Just a quick note to say hello. I really have not vaporized (just yet ;)
My weight is about the same, though I do seem to be shifting. I bought a Size 14 pair of jeans yesterday! (Granted, the khaki's I got were 16...lighter color, less forgiving). Holy crap though- and I also got a slew of Size L shirts. This is still shocking to me.
I'm off to Europe on Saturday and looking forward to it. Got a bunch of last minute things this weekend and still have the really, really last minute things to go. I wish I had been able to get it together to lob off the 15 pounds I'd hoped to if only to be able to shop and buy cool clothes whilst across the pond; however, I suppose still requiring larger sizes (for the most part) will protect my wallet a bit. (Though, handbags, shoes and jewerly aren't specific to skinny people...which is problematic for the checking account).
Otherwise, I'm eating ok - having PMS tightness as expected this month, resulting in about 5 days straight of minor to major PBs. Sucks, but it was expected...and it'll be over with soon enough. Exercise is good too - walking 50-60 minutes each morning, and sometimes an added hours around the lake in the afternoon! I've been seeing my trainer 1x/week but haven't really been doing it otherwise. Post-Europe, I want to keep walking a few days/week and then work in gym days 2-4x/week that will involve both cardio and lifting. And of course, Danskin is coming! I will be starting to bike and swim as well upon my return. Ug!
That's the quickie update - sorry for continually disappearing. A lot going on otherwise which I just don't have the energy or need to really go into here. Know that I'm focusing on myself and while at times I feel really, really bad - at others, I feel like my life is going in the right direction and I'm crazily happy and content. So the plan for now is to just carry on!
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
6-Month Post-Op Report - Down 58.5 Pounds
I know I am a few days late, but here is my 6-month post. Today I saw my surgeon and after taking a good month "off," I found that I had lost just 1.5 pounds in the past month...according to my his scale. Horrifying? Not at all. I didn't do anything to lose weight in the last month - I took weeks off from the gym, ate ok but certainly not ideally. I went in fully expecting to gain 5 pounds or so, and had even prepared myself emotionally for this news. Losing 1.5 was a thrill!!! I'm not doing photos this time since not much happened...
What's funny is how fat I feel right now...yet I'm skinnier than I was a month ago - all because I haven't been working at it. Those who know me know this is a metaphor for my life - it's hard for me to take credit or feel good about anything unless I'm working my ass off. And I suppose the metaphorical lesson here is that you can relax and let things unfold naturally you still will get where you're trying to go (maybe not as fast, but what's the hurry?)...
For the past few weeks, instead of going to the gym I've instead been going on 1-hour walks in the morning. It's been delightful! Even though it's Seattle, most mornings have been rain-free. It's amazing how fresh air and sunshine can keep ya going. I'm headed to Europe for 2+ weeks soon, so I wanted to be ready for all the walking! Plus, I needed a change but wanted to keep exercising and this worked out great. For now, I plan to keep up the walks until my trip on April 1st, and then when I return getting a good plan for the gym in order to be ready for Danskin.
Sorry for my continued absence here - life got a little heavy unexpectedly; however, things ebb and flow so with that in mind, it ought to lighten up soon so I should be around more. Plus, I am taking my iBook to Europe with me so hopefully I'll be posting a bit from there, with a goal of writing here about weight-related stuff while traveling.
Oh, and by the way, I weight 199.5. Holy shit.
Hope everyone is doing well!
I know I am a few days late, but here is my 6-month post. Today I saw my surgeon and after taking a good month "off," I found that I had lost just 1.5 pounds in the past month...according to my his scale. Horrifying? Not at all. I didn't do anything to lose weight in the last month - I took weeks off from the gym, ate ok but certainly not ideally. I went in fully expecting to gain 5 pounds or so, and had even prepared myself emotionally for this news. Losing 1.5 was a thrill!!! I'm not doing photos this time since not much happened...
What's funny is how fat I feel right now...yet I'm skinnier than I was a month ago - all because I haven't been working at it. Those who know me know this is a metaphor for my life - it's hard for me to take credit or feel good about anything unless I'm working my ass off. And I suppose the metaphorical lesson here is that you can relax and let things unfold naturally you still will get where you're trying to go (maybe not as fast, but what's the hurry?)...
For the past few weeks, instead of going to the gym I've instead been going on 1-hour walks in the morning. It's been delightful! Even though it's Seattle, most mornings have been rain-free. It's amazing how fresh air and sunshine can keep ya going. I'm headed to Europe for 2+ weeks soon, so I wanted to be ready for all the walking! Plus, I needed a change but wanted to keep exercising and this worked out great. For now, I plan to keep up the walks until my trip on April 1st, and then when I return getting a good plan for the gym in order to be ready for Danskin.
Sorry for my continued absence here - life got a little heavy unexpectedly; however, things ebb and flow so with that in mind, it ought to lighten up soon so I should be around more. Plus, I am taking my iBook to Europe with me so hopefully I'll be posting a bit from there, with a goal of writing here about weight-related stuff while traveling.
Oh, and by the way, I weight 199.5. Holy shit.
Hope everyone is doing well!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Danskin Tri
The Danskin registration opened up today! I signed up - yikes!!! Who's with me????
http://www.danskin.com/danskinonline/raceinfo.html
:) Just do it!
The Danskin registration opened up today! I signed up - yikes!!! Who's with me????
http://www.danskin.com/danskinonline/raceinfo.html
:) Just do it!
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Cupcake
Yes, two posts in a day. If you know me you know I have a tendency toward the extreme, though I work to temper it. However, in the here & now I was reminded of a topic I wanted to post.
So, I'm working to amp up my t-shirt collection. Why? Couple reasons:
1) They actually make t-shirts that fit me now!
2) It's a hip look, the t-shirt over the long-sleeved shirt; I like it when I'm going for my sporty-spice look.
3) Sometimes it's hot when I go out dancing, they work.
4) The ole'rack looks pretty good in 'em, I must say.
5) There are days I just don't want to work that hard, and it's easy to look ok in a t-shirt & jeans provided both are cool...
Which leads me to my dilemma. So far I have three t-shirts in my little collection. Two are cute and fitted, one is a Nada Surf shirt, a band that I like (it's a little bigger, but still cool and yesterday, got me some good flirtin' with a random barista who missed the show! another plus of the cool t-shirt...conversation starters).
So this week for work I had to go to Cupcake Royale to pick up cupcakes for a baby shower. They have t-shirts with their very cute logo and cool, very, very "jenn" colors (pink on brown! my palette!). I was all set to add t-shirt #4 to my collection when it dawned on me...
I'm not skinny. Yet.
Fat girl wearing shirt with food on it - that's a no-no - but not just any food, but a fattening, decadent, egregious cupcake, for the love of god? It feels like an invitation to taunts, whether spoken or not. So I didn't buy the gawd'damn thing. In terms of my dress/style, I feel more put together and fashionable than I ever have. But apparently, I'm still not able to shake the fact that I'm still an XL, a 16, 200ish pounds...and not yet able to wear a 'food' shirt without fearing judgment. Alas. Perhaps some month in the future I'll take my photos for y'all in a Cupcake Royale t-shirt - then you'll know I'm over this hump.
Yes, two posts in a day. If you know me you know I have a tendency toward the extreme, though I work to temper it. However, in the here & now I was reminded of a topic I wanted to post.
So, I'm working to amp up my t-shirt collection. Why? Couple reasons:
1) They actually make t-shirts that fit me now!
2) It's a hip look, the t-shirt over the long-sleeved shirt; I like it when I'm going for my sporty-spice look.
3) Sometimes it's hot when I go out dancing, they work.
4) The ole'rack looks pretty good in 'em, I must say.
5) There are days I just don't want to work that hard, and it's easy to look ok in a t-shirt & jeans provided both are cool...
Which leads me to my dilemma. So far I have three t-shirts in my little collection. Two are cute and fitted, one is a Nada Surf shirt, a band that I like (it's a little bigger, but still cool and yesterday, got me some good flirtin' with a random barista who missed the show! another plus of the cool t-shirt...conversation starters).
So this week for work I had to go to Cupcake Royale to pick up cupcakes for a baby shower. They have t-shirts with their very cute logo and cool, very, very "jenn" colors (pink on brown! my palette!). I was all set to add t-shirt #4 to my collection when it dawned on me...
I'm not skinny. Yet.
Fat girl wearing shirt with food on it - that's a no-no - but not just any food, but a fattening, decadent, egregious cupcake, for the love of god? It feels like an invitation to taunts, whether spoken or not. So I didn't buy the gawd'damn thing. In terms of my dress/style, I feel more put together and fashionable than I ever have. But apparently, I'm still not able to shake the fact that I'm still an XL, a 16, 200ish pounds...and not yet able to wear a 'food' shirt without fearing judgment. Alas. Perhaps some month in the future I'll take my photos for y'all in a Cupcake Royale t-shirt - then you'll know I'm over this hump.
Uncle
Ok, ok, - I give. I know I keep disappearing and I am honestly sorry about it. I've been taking a little hiatus as mentioned in my last post - a break from working so hard at losing weight. It's been a nice breather, but I'm getting back on track now. Exercised the last 4 days in a row (thanks ck, for the help getting it back) and made a few bargains with myself to keep at it. Somehow, these little deals & contracts work for me (i.e., dessert is ok 2x/week; no workout = no go out, etc.). It's just hard to keep at it relentlessly without shaking it up.
I haven't weighed myself in ages, but last time I was holding steady - I doubt that's changed at all. But we'll see soon enough & I'll keep you posted. One thing that has been strange is that I've struggled to accept compliments from people regarding my weight loss while on my break. It's like I don't deserve any kudos since I'm really not working at it right now....strange, lame and true. I suppose it's still nice when people notice, but I feel like a little bit of a fraud for taking a compliment that I feel like I don't deserve - no lectures needed - I know I deserve it, blah, blah - it's just right now they make me feel a little awkward. But hey, now that I'm getting back to it, perhaps I'll be more receptive to these comments.
Otherwise, not too much else to report. I think most of you know I taking writing classes at Bent . After class last week I went for a drink with a classmate who totally inspired me to finally, and I mean FINALLY, write my 'fat piece.' I've been trying to write a piece about my experience being fat that captures the feelings I've had about it in the past, but presents them in a way that shows I'm in a different place now. I'm still tweaking, but I'm pretty happy with it so far. I'm hoping to read it at the next spoken word night I go to in May...but we'll see. Pretty risky putting yourself out there like that! Once I finish, I will either (1) post it (this is unlikely) or (2) give you a email address to write to if you'd like to see it. I'm happy to share, but posting it...not so sure. Maybe an excerpt, when the time comes.
Hope all are well, sorry again for disappearing - just know I'm focusing on myself and it's good!
Ok, ok, - I give. I know I keep disappearing and I am honestly sorry about it. I've been taking a little hiatus as mentioned in my last post - a break from working so hard at losing weight. It's been a nice breather, but I'm getting back on track now. Exercised the last 4 days in a row (thanks ck, for the help getting it back) and made a few bargains with myself to keep at it. Somehow, these little deals & contracts work for me (i.e., dessert is ok 2x/week; no workout = no go out, etc.). It's just hard to keep at it relentlessly without shaking it up.
I haven't weighed myself in ages, but last time I was holding steady - I doubt that's changed at all. But we'll see soon enough & I'll keep you posted. One thing that has been strange is that I've struggled to accept compliments from people regarding my weight loss while on my break. It's like I don't deserve any kudos since I'm really not working at it right now....strange, lame and true. I suppose it's still nice when people notice, but I feel like a little bit of a fraud for taking a compliment that I feel like I don't deserve - no lectures needed - I know I deserve it, blah, blah - it's just right now they make me feel a little awkward. But hey, now that I'm getting back to it, perhaps I'll be more receptive to these comments.
Otherwise, not too much else to report. I think most of you know I taking writing classes at Bent . After class last week I went for a drink with a classmate who totally inspired me to finally, and I mean FINALLY, write my 'fat piece.' I've been trying to write a piece about my experience being fat that captures the feelings I've had about it in the past, but presents them in a way that shows I'm in a different place now. I'm still tweaking, but I'm pretty happy with it so far. I'm hoping to read it at the next spoken word night I go to in May...but we'll see. Pretty risky putting yourself out there like that! Once I finish, I will either (1) post it (this is unlikely) or (2) give you a email address to write to if you'd like to see it. I'm happy to share, but posting it...not so sure. Maybe an excerpt, when the time comes.
Hope all are well, sorry again for disappearing - just know I'm focusing on myself and it's good!
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Rewarding Yourself
One of the things I've been doing a lot of lately is rewarding myself. I think it's hard to figure our how to do this when you're a fat girl inside - c'mon, we've always used food as a reward, right?!? But I think along the way I've done a good job of milestone rewards that have made me feel good & happy & proud of myself. Sometimes the reward is around a specific number on the scale, sometimes a timeline (I worked out 10 days in a row), and sometimes it's just a general "Hey, I rock. I'm doing this for myself." Here's some of what I've done at different stages:
- New haircut - change it up! don't be afraid - I've gotten as many compliments on my new hair as I have on my weight loss, I swear it!
- Clothes - this is a big one since you know you won't be wearing it for long...but still
- Accessories - shoes, bags, jewelry - things you won't shrink out of - a good $pend :)
- Spa appointments - I'm not too proud to drop a little $ at the spa and feel the love
- Mini-getaways - Go someplace new where you just get to be YOU and not "jenn who was fat before..."
- Breathers
Breathers? What's this? Well, this sort of maps to where I am right now so I thought I'd spend a moment on this one. Think about it: When you're charging to a long-term goal it's exhausting. Like running a marathon, there are these moments where you're flying along and others where you feel like you will topple over in 4 more paces. I think I'm feeling like I'm going to topple over in terms of driving so hard to lose weight. So, I am giving myself a breather! This is why I haven't posted in a while, have taken to walks around the lake rather than the gym, have relaxed my eating a little (not in a bad way, just not focusing on it so vigilantly).
Overall, I am sort of taking a little 'vacation' from my own personal weight-loss marathon.
For me, it's proven to be a good decision. I'd rather slow down a little than topple over completely, no? And it's allowing me to focus on some other things that matter a lot: my job, my writing and dating...these all require energy out of me too, and one only has so much gas in the tank. I feel fantastic where I'm at right now, and I have total faith that I will reach my goal in good time. I just think taking a few weeks off is a good pacing break. For me it is anyhow....so, I might post again tomorrow...or in a week...I'm stepping out of the drivers seat for a little bit is all and hopping on the bus instead; not as fast or direct, but it'll get me there.
One of the things I've been doing a lot of lately is rewarding myself. I think it's hard to figure our how to do this when you're a fat girl inside - c'mon, we've always used food as a reward, right?!? But I think along the way I've done a good job of milestone rewards that have made me feel good & happy & proud of myself. Sometimes the reward is around a specific number on the scale, sometimes a timeline (I worked out 10 days in a row), and sometimes it's just a general "Hey, I rock. I'm doing this for myself." Here's some of what I've done at different stages:
- New haircut - change it up! don't be afraid - I've gotten as many compliments on my new hair as I have on my weight loss, I swear it!
- Clothes - this is a big one since you know you won't be wearing it for long...but still
- Accessories - shoes, bags, jewelry - things you won't shrink out of - a good $pend :)
- Spa appointments - I'm not too proud to drop a little $ at the spa and feel the love
- Mini-getaways - Go someplace new where you just get to be YOU and not "jenn who was fat before..."
- Breathers
Breathers? What's this? Well, this sort of maps to where I am right now so I thought I'd spend a moment on this one. Think about it: When you're charging to a long-term goal it's exhausting. Like running a marathon, there are these moments where you're flying along and others where you feel like you will topple over in 4 more paces. I think I'm feeling like I'm going to topple over in terms of driving so hard to lose weight. So, I am giving myself a breather! This is why I haven't posted in a while, have taken to walks around the lake rather than the gym, have relaxed my eating a little (not in a bad way, just not focusing on it so vigilantly).
Overall, I am sort of taking a little 'vacation' from my own personal weight-loss marathon.
For me, it's proven to be a good decision. I'd rather slow down a little than topple over completely, no? And it's allowing me to focus on some other things that matter a lot: my job, my writing and dating...these all require energy out of me too, and one only has so much gas in the tank. I feel fantastic where I'm at right now, and I have total faith that I will reach my goal in good time. I just think taking a few weeks off is a good pacing break. For me it is anyhow....so, I might post again tomorrow...or in a week...I'm stepping out of the drivers seat for a little bit is all and hopping on the bus instead; not as fast or direct, but it'll get me there.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
5-Month Bandiversary
Time flies! Today is 5 months since I got my lap-band! Including the pre-op diet, I've lost a total of 57 pounds as of this morning! I am two pounds...a mere 8 sticks of butter...from Onederland! I'm really excited for this, but after a big drop this week (partially due to lack of appetite due to my cold/flu), I don't expect to see further loss for a little bit while my body catches up. No complaints though - considering I weighed 258 at the start of my pre-op diet, and 262 back in June - I'm thrilled with my progress! View my 5-month photos here.
Other noteworthy comments:
- My blood pressure was 102/70 this week
- My resting heart rate was 60
- I'm wearing a size 16 on the bottom in most brands, and a 14/16 or a regular'ole XL or even L on top!
- I feel much, much better!
- I have good restriction and other than around my period, it's not too tight.
- I still struggle sometimes to eat well and eat right, but mostly I do ok and am comfortable with the overall life change.
- It's not a total walk in the park, but it's easier than any diet or other weight-loss program I did before - and I don't hate it at all, whereas those diets, programs, etc. *I hated*
My big goal is to be at 185 by April 1st - that's 15 pounds in about 6 weeks - lofty and likely not doable, as my pattern seems to be lose 10 one month, 6 the next, then 10, then 6 or 7...so we'll see where I land!
Time flies! Today is 5 months since I got my lap-band! Including the pre-op diet, I've lost a total of 57 pounds as of this morning! I am two pounds...a mere 8 sticks of butter...from Onederland! I'm really excited for this, but after a big drop this week (partially due to lack of appetite due to my cold/flu), I don't expect to see further loss for a little bit while my body catches up. No complaints though - considering I weighed 258 at the start of my pre-op diet, and 262 back in June - I'm thrilled with my progress! View my 5-month photos here.
Other noteworthy comments:
- My blood pressure was 102/70 this week
- My resting heart rate was 60
- I'm wearing a size 16 on the bottom in most brands, and a 14/16 or a regular'ole XL or even L on top!
- I feel much, much better!
- I have good restriction and other than around my period, it's not too tight.
- I still struggle sometimes to eat well and eat right, but mostly I do ok and am comfortable with the overall life change.
- It's not a total walk in the park, but it's easier than any diet or other weight-loss program I did before - and I don't hate it at all, whereas those diets, programs, etc. *I hated*
My big goal is to be at 185 by April 1st - that's 15 pounds in about 6 weeks - lofty and likely not doable, as my pattern seems to be lose 10 one month, 6 the next, then 10, then 6 or 7...so we'll see where I land!
Saturday, February 11, 2006
Well, Hot Damn.
First, before we get on to the 'hot damn' part of the post, did y'all see the new link I posted to plus-sized workout garb? http://www.ladiesonlysports.com/plussizcomso.html Now, to the non-WLS people who read this - allow me to explain. The workout world assumes that if you're plus-size, you don't work out. Ok, somewhat safe assumption; however, how the hell are we supposed to not be plus size any longer if when we go to work out, we've got nothing to wear to the freakin' gym?!?!? So, gawd-bless these folks - up to size 6XL! Check it out ladies!
Ok, now for the fun part. I went to my surgeon today figuring I'd lost about 6 pounds since my last fill. I've had the flu since Wednesday (yeah, I was trying to diminish it by calling it a cold) so I haven't weighed in for days. (Though, I did work out Wednesday, and walked around greenlake (3 miles) both yesterday & today). I digress. Imagine.
Ok, so since my last fill, I lost 10 pounds!!!! How about that - I weighed in on his scale at 204.9; and typically I'm 1-3 lbs. more there than at the gym - which is what I use as my gauge. Now, my official-naked-at-the-gym-on-an-empty-stomach 5-month bandiversary weigh-in is on Sunday; this number will be less than 10 for sure (my monthly doc appts. are not synched up with my surgery anniversary exactly). But nonetheless, by my surgeon's account I'm at a total loss of 53, and he's thrilled. It was a nice surprise.
I'm about 4-5 pounds from Onederland, and I want to sew my mouth shut for a couple days to get there sooner, but I know I just have to be patient! My trip comes up on April 1st - I had a lofty goal of being at 185 by then, likely not going to happen - though, really, I'd be thrilled at 190, and happy at 195. So, we'll see where I land. Sunday is picture day! I'm sort of excited to see them now that I know something solid happened.
First, before we get on to the 'hot damn' part of the post, did y'all see the new link I posted to plus-sized workout garb? http://www.ladiesonlysports.com/plussizcomso.html Now, to the non-WLS people who read this - allow me to explain. The workout world assumes that if you're plus-size, you don't work out. Ok, somewhat safe assumption; however, how the hell are we supposed to not be plus size any longer if when we go to work out, we've got nothing to wear to the freakin' gym?!?!? So, gawd-bless these folks - up to size 6XL! Check it out ladies!
Ok, now for the fun part. I went to my surgeon today figuring I'd lost about 6 pounds since my last fill. I've had the flu since Wednesday (yeah, I was trying to diminish it by calling it a cold) so I haven't weighed in for days. (Though, I did work out Wednesday, and walked around greenlake (3 miles) both yesterday & today). I digress. Imagine.
Ok, so since my last fill, I lost 10 pounds!!!! How about that - I weighed in on his scale at 204.9; and typically I'm 1-3 lbs. more there than at the gym - which is what I use as my gauge. Now, my official-naked-at-the-gym-on-an-empty-stomach 5-month bandiversary weigh-in is on Sunday; this number will be less than 10 for sure (my monthly doc appts. are not synched up with my surgery anniversary exactly). But nonetheless, by my surgeon's account I'm at a total loss of 53, and he's thrilled. It was a nice surprise.
I'm about 4-5 pounds from Onederland, and I want to sew my mouth shut for a couple days to get there sooner, but I know I just have to be patient! My trip comes up on April 1st - I had a lofty goal of being at 185 by then, likely not going to happen - though, really, I'd be thrilled at 190, and happy at 195. So, we'll see where I land. Sunday is picture day! I'm sort of excited to see them now that I know something solid happened.
Friday, February 10, 2006
Perspective
Way back when, I used to eat this locally-made granola (which you can buy on Amazon.com now). It was seriously calorie-dense - 230 per 1/3 c. - but I loved it so it was ok. I was always starving though and people at work would say, "you're just eating that itty lil' bit of granola?" Well, I was making some space for my roommate Kel in the cupboards and came upon an unopened package of the said granola. I've had a rotten cold and have worked at home for the past couple days, so I've had to improvise food since I hadn't planned on being here. For breakfast I had 1/3 c. granola with 1/2 c. yogurt (which I stole from the aforementioned roommate) - total calories about 330, fine for breakfast (though low on protein in the scheme of it all...). Here's what was funny: I felt like I was eating a ton of food! It was so yummy, satisfying and plenty of food. This is exactly how it is supposed to work, but I'm still continually surprised...
And then at lunch, I had on of my "emergency" frozen meals from Whole Foods. It was Chicken Tikka, and the whole container was 490 calories but I'd already figured there was no way I was going to eat the 1 c. of rice on the left side of the little plastic tray. So, I planned to eat the chicken, sauce and about 1/4 c. of rice (and tossed the rest). Again, figured it'd be about 300-350 calories, just fine for lunch...but the funny part was I couldn't even finish what I set out to eat! I had to put about 1/2 c. of the chicken/sauce/rice in the fridge. It's shocking to me every time.
For dinner, I had 5 vegetarian "chicken wings" which are essentialy spicey chicken nuggets in the shape of a baby drumstick. Silly. I dipped them in a little blue cheese dressing or BBQ sauce. About 250 calories here. And I was full. Shame on me, I know, for not having any veggies. I've been horrible about that and it's shocking to me since I love veggies so much...
Today though is my 5-month surgeon appointment along with a check-in with my nutritionist. It's always good to hit the 'reset' button with these monthly visits - plus, it's proven that those who show up each month for follow-up lose a lot more weight, more quickly, than those who don't. More to come - Sunday is my official 5-month!
p.s. Thanks to all for your nice replies to my last post. I appreciate that you all enjoy reading my stuff and I will try to post even when it feels perhaps a bit dull to do so - just so you know I'm alive & kickin' :)
Way back when, I used to eat this locally-made granola (which you can buy on Amazon.com now). It was seriously calorie-dense - 230 per 1/3 c. - but I loved it so it was ok. I was always starving though and people at work would say, "you're just eating that itty lil' bit of granola?" Well, I was making some space for my roommate Kel in the cupboards and came upon an unopened package of the said granola. I've had a rotten cold and have worked at home for the past couple days, so I've had to improvise food since I hadn't planned on being here. For breakfast I had 1/3 c. granola with 1/2 c. yogurt (which I stole from the aforementioned roommate) - total calories about 330, fine for breakfast (though low on protein in the scheme of it all...). Here's what was funny: I felt like I was eating a ton of food! It was so yummy, satisfying and plenty of food. This is exactly how it is supposed to work, but I'm still continually surprised...
And then at lunch, I had on of my "emergency" frozen meals from Whole Foods. It was Chicken Tikka, and the whole container was 490 calories but I'd already figured there was no way I was going to eat the 1 c. of rice on the left side of the little plastic tray. So, I planned to eat the chicken, sauce and about 1/4 c. of rice (and tossed the rest). Again, figured it'd be about 300-350 calories, just fine for lunch...but the funny part was I couldn't even finish what I set out to eat! I had to put about 1/2 c. of the chicken/sauce/rice in the fridge. It's shocking to me every time.
For dinner, I had 5 vegetarian "chicken wings" which are essentialy spicey chicken nuggets in the shape of a baby drumstick. Silly. I dipped them in a little blue cheese dressing or BBQ sauce. About 250 calories here. And I was full. Shame on me, I know, for not having any veggies. I've been horrible about that and it's shocking to me since I love veggies so much...
Today though is my 5-month surgeon appointment along with a check-in with my nutritionist. It's always good to hit the 'reset' button with these monthly visits - plus, it's proven that those who show up each month for follow-up lose a lot more weight, more quickly, than those who don't. More to come - Sunday is my official 5-month!
p.s. Thanks to all for your nice replies to my last post. I appreciate that you all enjoy reading my stuff and I will try to post even when it feels perhaps a bit dull to do so - just so you know I'm alive & kickin' :)
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
Who'dat?
My friend Mikey took this photo of me at work yesterday. I had to look at it for a while and found myself wondering, "Who is that?" It's just funny how much I've changed in the last 5 months. Shocking really - but good.
I've popped in a photo of me at my highest weight of (horror) 262 last June for comparison.
Apologies for my lack of posting. I think when the scale isn't moving I sort of feel like a fraud posting away about how nothing is happening! I know, I'm being silly, but it's true. Since the scale is stuck around 206, I'll just tell ya about a few NSVs to raise my spirits and remind us all that it's not all about the number!
1) My sister Kate gave me back a pair of pants in December that I had worn last time I had gotten 'skinny' back 6 or 7 years ago. I tried them on at xmas and they were tight on 'the kid' (you know, that lovely lower abdominal fat roll). So, I tried again in mid-January and they were still too tight. Popped'em on last week and found that I'd missed the window! Now they're too big. So there.
2) Just had my 3rd session with the trainer this morning. He's a fantastic guy and really is helping me keep it real, achieveable and productive. I only lift one other day (Sat. or Sun., whenever I feel like it) - it feels easy and doable, but boy the ole'bod hurts so I know something is happening in there! Plus, it's just nice to not spend the whole time on the elliptical, despite my love for it.
3) I think I put together that my insane tightness was likely not fill-related! So, two months ago during PMS time I got insanely tight for about 4 days. Last month though, nuthin' - PMS was just fine. However, when I got me'ole monthly pal on Saturday I put it all together!!! It seems that one ovary has a PMS perscription that involves more bloat (hence, tightness) and a rougher PMS time followed up with an 'easy' period. The other ovary is kind in the PMS regard but brutal when it comes to the actual period. So, now I know - and if I'm freaking out over insane tightness in April, feel free to remind me that it's just my cranky ovary squeezing my band.
4) The Steelers won the Superbowl! Now, how is this an NSV? Well, I figure I had my heart rate up for an additional 3 hours this week as a result of that game, whipping my Terrible Towel around and just generally having several heart attacks throughout it. (Yes, I live in Seattle, and yes, you read correctly, I am a Steelers fan - originally from PA).
My 5-month anniversary is on Sunday, so expect updated photos within a few days. As usual I feel like I look exactly the same, but photos don't lie, which is why I do it. Plus, it is fun to see the transformation, no?
p.s. Update on my sister Megan, who is coming up on her 1 month bandiversary on the 16th: she was down 18 pounds at her 1 week appointment (pre/post op losses combined) and is quite pleased with the growing gap on the waistline of her pants. Her first fill is at the end of February, and she's in the "crap, my hunger is back" stage but is sticking to her guns, following the rules and holding out for her fill. Go Meggie!!!! :)
My friend Mikey took this photo of me at work yesterday. I had to look at it for a while and found myself wondering, "Who is that?" It's just funny how much I've changed in the last 5 months. Shocking really - but good.
I've popped in a photo of me at my highest weight of (horror) 262 last June for comparison.Apologies for my lack of posting. I think when the scale isn't moving I sort of feel like a fraud posting away about how nothing is happening! I know, I'm being silly, but it's true. Since the scale is stuck around 206, I'll just tell ya about a few NSVs to raise my spirits and remind us all that it's not all about the number!
1) My sister Kate gave me back a pair of pants in December that I had worn last time I had gotten 'skinny' back 6 or 7 years ago. I tried them on at xmas and they were tight on 'the kid' (you know, that lovely lower abdominal fat roll). So, I tried again in mid-January and they were still too tight. Popped'em on last week and found that I'd missed the window! Now they're too big. So there.
2) Just had my 3rd session with the trainer this morning. He's a fantastic guy and really is helping me keep it real, achieveable and productive. I only lift one other day (Sat. or Sun., whenever I feel like it) - it feels easy and doable, but boy the ole'bod hurts so I know something is happening in there! Plus, it's just nice to not spend the whole time on the elliptical, despite my love for it.
3) I think I put together that my insane tightness was likely not fill-related! So, two months ago during PMS time I got insanely tight for about 4 days. Last month though, nuthin' - PMS was just fine. However, when I got me'ole monthly pal on Saturday I put it all together!!! It seems that one ovary has a PMS perscription that involves more bloat (hence, tightness) and a rougher PMS time followed up with an 'easy' period. The other ovary is kind in the PMS regard but brutal when it comes to the actual period. So, now I know - and if I'm freaking out over insane tightness in April, feel free to remind me that it's just my cranky ovary squeezing my band.
4) The Steelers won the Superbowl! Now, how is this an NSV? Well, I figure I had my heart rate up for an additional 3 hours this week as a result of that game, whipping my Terrible Towel around and just generally having several heart attacks throughout it. (Yes, I live in Seattle, and yes, you read correctly, I am a Steelers fan - originally from PA).
My 5-month anniversary is on Sunday, so expect updated photos within a few days. As usual I feel like I look exactly the same, but photos don't lie, which is why I do it. Plus, it is fun to see the transformation, no?
p.s. Update on my sister Megan, who is coming up on her 1 month bandiversary on the 16th: she was down 18 pounds at her 1 week appointment (pre/post op losses combined) and is quite pleased with the growing gap on the waistline of her pants. Her first fill is at the end of February, and she's in the "crap, my hunger is back" stage but is sticking to her guns, following the rules and holding out for her fill. Go Meggie!!!! :)
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